I’ve been connecting with some women who are in my far away friends circle via phone. Our lives just don’t intertwine, and I’m personally more apt to make myself do things than I am to go hang out with people frequently. I don’t mind if there’s an activity, purpose or meal, but otherwise, I can’t just hang out.
There were times with my ex-wife’s family that I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin just sitting around talking for hours. I would get up to take a walk, and often be asked what I was doing and then folks would say, “Wait a minute, I’m going to join you.” I guess that was mostly fine, because at least I was with people doing something.
I have a birthday twin. Except for both liking polysyllabic words and details, we couldn’t be more different. Come to think of it, I don’t know her moon or ascendant… Likely that explains some of our differences. Anyway, she was biking to her favorite coffee shop midway through last month and hit gravel. Unfortunately, she went over her handlebars. She broke her nose, had road rash on her face and broke her radius badly.
What do people who are single do when they have medical appointments?
Their friends take them to the appointments.
I’ve found too that friends are way less resentful about hustling for you when they don’t have to. A spouse has to be involved with you constantly according to societal norms. They’re also expected to take you to medical appointments when you’re injured.
I had a very strange week last week and talked to many people who I hadn’t really spoken with much in years. Some of them are newly single, some have almost always been single, and others are those who have been coupled with various people during the tenure of our friendship. It’s interesting to me that being coupled is the norm and being single is somehow seen as isolated or at the very least unconventional.
Do you have single friends? What is the percentage of your life that you’ve spent single since you graduated from high school? Are their drawbacks to having a live in partner or being married?
Return 
I don’t expect my husband to take me to medical things. I think problems arise when we have expectations of what our partners are supposed to do. I have a fair amount of single friends, some who want to be partnered, and I think the ones that want partners have very skewed ideas of what a relationship is.
AGREED! 100%.
Having unsaid expectations and demands erodes relationships. All them–partnerships and marriages included.
One does best when asking what we want and communicating what our preferences and expectations are and see if those match.
I think that is changing and younger people today are more likely to be single compared to previous generations. It’s always nice to have company when going to a medical appointment, but for me, it doesn’t always have to be my spouse. My mom is still my go-to person for a lot of stuff (but she also lives right around the corner from me).
That is cool! I think that your Mom is typically someone who is comforting for medical appointments.
In the case of my friend, she would NEVER want her mother at the doctor with her. In fact, she’s forbidden her mother to visit while she’s recovering from broken bones.
Also, I agree that fewer people will marry in Gen Z.
Heh, I’m the single friend. Except for a brief disastrous marriage, I’ve been single all my life. Since the divorce, I’ve embraced it as actually ideal for me.
From what I’ve experienced and observed, there are upsides and downsides to either way of living. Freedom versus company. Even as much as I enjoy dog-sitting, I’m usually glad to return to my solitary life where I can do whatever the hell I feel like doing at any given moment!
I have been trying to reply to your comment!
There is something wrong with the desktop version of WordPress! (Just going to type with two thumbs on my Pixel.)
I think that the Solo podcast is for you! I certainly have found it inspiring / helpful alongside being acquainted with Peter McGraw. It’s called “”Solo: A Single Person’s Guide to a Remarkable Life.” Let me know if you listen to a few episodes
Sorry, but I have to pass. I’ve never been a fan of people telling me how to live my life. And no incentive, since finding my own way has worked out pretty well for me. I am, as they say, “happily single.”
That’s what the podcast is. Celebrating being single. He’s great
Nah. Too much the lone wolf. The company of others quickly becomes … annoying. 🤨
For some reason, I am not communicating effectively. His handle is unapologetically unattached. Sorry that I am not being clear.
I think you’ve been clear enough. I think perhaps I haven’t been blunt enough. I don’t do podcasts for a number of reasons, and lifestyle topics have never interested me. Less so the older I get. No value judgement, just not how I care to spend my time. So, there is no effective way to present it. It’s just not my flavor.
I like that about being single too. I can recommend fully to you the podcast, “Solo: A Single Person’s Guide to a Remarkable Life.” And, it, alongside being acquainted with Peter McGraw, has changed my life. Take a listen to an episode or two and tell me what you think!