I went on my community walk yesterday and a fourth grade girl was obsessed with my dogs so she talked with me, and accompanied me on my walk. So cute. Her grandparents thanked me when we got back to the fruit, breakfast bars and coffee after our walk. I called my colleague who almost died and we caught up. She’s doing really well. Then it was off to the climbing gym.

I get so intimidated by some cismen. I couldn’t tie in and then just gave up so my friend I did auto belay routes. I had fun and was really sore yesterday afternoon. I’ll do knots at home and then I do need to buy a grigri. I think it will be free. I have a ton of points. You can’t use an ATC in gyms.

She and I took breaks and talked a lot too. I had to remind her that she cried when we were waiting for the outdoor wall to open this summer when we were bouldering. I told her that she texted me because she was in the breakup spot. It’s true. I’m trained as a clinical psychologist, so I am a good listener and she’s not paying me so I can just tell her what I’m seeing. I asked, “How long have you ever gone without a girlfriend?” She just looked at me. Then it was nervous laughter. I said, “You don’t want to be alone. You don’t want to be with her necessarily.”

Her mother died from all the complications related to Alzheimer’s. She still has her Dad. She’s about four-months and two-years older than me. She has her sister too, and she told my friend to break up with her girlfriend. I told her to be a good friend to her while she works her shit out. There is a lot too. I don’t know how many years she was married to her husband, but they finally have divorced and he is already transitioned to female. She has an ex-wife in reality. She also does lots of push and pull. It’s all that avoidant attachment stuff. My friend has an anxious attachment and really doesn’t want to die alone.

I think that when you part, you are alone. I told her that I’m interested in hybrid long-term care insurance with an additional life policy. My son will not do anything that I’ve done now for going on ten-years.

I had a great time with her though and she is one of my two lesbian friends. She divorced about two-years before I did. I’m pretty confident that her ex-wife married her to get her pension and other assets. They’d been together for 15-years or more before getting married, and were maybe married 3-5 years. My other friend who is lesbian has been married twice. Once to man, as I was, and she also has a son. She and her ex-wife had another son who is now college age. They both get it, and get me, and I love seeing them seasonally.

I won’t remarry. I won’t cohabit. I still want those romantic moments.

Soooooo Friday night. I went to my end of the season party for kickball and my two male teammates weren’t there. I had mentioned it to one of my bowling teammates prior to leaving work and then I asked the officiator if I could “make” a team for cornhole and flip cup. He said absolutely and he had shirts for them. I was in my team shirt, but took one because they were cool. Our other teammate from bowling got there about 45-minutes later with one of her friends from work. I was so glad to see her. I got up and hugged her and then she said that she liked my eye makeup and had never seen it before. I think that I’d had it on before at bowling, but dunno. I definitely look different without makeup on. We didn’t win, but my other teammate and her old roommate showed up too and we had a ton of fun with our team of 5. She texted me asking if I’d gotten home ok, and we’ve exchanged texts.

She’s fit and very nice. Southern nice. She’s Persian and attractive. Typically, I look at blonds and redheads and have been mostly with women with light eyes. My first girlfriend–high school–was brown eyed and the little liar was brown eyed. However, eye color is superficial. I think that we look at who we look at, but on-going attraction is complicated. It felt really nice to have her texting with me because she’d never done that outside of group texting. It’s nice too because I don’t have to have any conversations with her about me and where I am with my life. I had handed the Orchestra Director who also plays on our bowling team my copy of “The Ethical Slut,” this summer because she wanted to read it. We’ll see.

I have to lift weights before book club today. I really liked the book this time. I’m excited for book club and our conversations. I’m not excited to grade papers and watch videos for feedback all afternoon and evening. However, I had an offer for a soccer watch party with a nacho bar last night and then hang out at the cowboy bar and I elected to watch tv in my basement. I’ve done A LOT of talking this weekend, so maybe grading won’t be as bad as it usually is!