Climbing on auto belay is frightening. When you fall, you fall a few feet and you need to make sure that you place your feet toward the wall. You can start whacking your body and your face on hand and footholds. We got there and the wall wasn’t open. So, we bouldered. Just like me I got up the rock really quick and then had no idea how to get down. I’m the same on a summit. I can get up really fast–especially for my age–but my janky left knee makes going down really slow. I need to start bringing my trekking poles.

Anyway, we stopped bouldering because we were burning our forearms. We weren’t pumped. The rock was way too hot. I think it was 94. Then we talked. My friend has grown impatient. Her partner’s ex-wife hasn’t moved out of the house yet, and they’ve been in relationship 16-months. They had a chat recently and my friend’s partner told her, “I know that I’m not giving you what you need and deserve.” She almost cried. I feel so badly for her situation.

I went ahead and went to the bar to be in air conditioning, have beer and tons of water after we climbed. I had a couple of good conversations. The crowd was really, really young. The nice guy met me late and we put our names in to sing and weren’t called so we left and went to the good venue. He had to work today so he got tired and we didn’t sing there either, but he only smoked a tiny amount of pot at the good venue and we both ate there so he was cool. He also is addressing his codependency and not obsessing on the girl in FL right now. We had wonderful conversations.

I’ve got less than 80-pages left in Gahran (2017). I think that I have had some shifts. If you’re not looking for a traditional beginning, middle and end upon death, you might want a partner just like a friend. I had learned in Fosse (2021) that relationships without demands and expectations tend to cause less of a need for therapy. I got that then. Now, I think that I’m coming to wanting some partners who are just like a friend to me. Having a great time in that moment and then navigating how often she would like to see me. I spend so many days quietly in my house when I’m not working. I may not get a text or personal email all day. I’m good at it. The only time I get lonely is during holidays. I think that my workaround would be doing something huge or otherwise epic for a holiday.

Yesterday, our teacher and safety person at the wall said that he climbed a difficult Class 3 long mountain on the 4th. Why didn’t I do something like that? Not a difficult Class 3 with no partner, but something fun and different. I think it’s because I am usually around for my son. He’s really busy with his girlfriend most of the time these days and does family stuff with her family. I don’t want to join or do I want to seek out a close friendship with her parents. They’re nice. Her mother shot lots of prom pictures for Senior Prom. I just don’t feel close to them, or immediately drawn.

In ten-days I have a new Meet Up that was directly recommended to me. I am excited. Three-days after that I have a women’s discussion potluck Meet Up. Again, I’m excited. I am actively making new friends. I’m going to have coffee with a new mentor before I go back to my full-time job and start teaching a class that I’ve taught a whole bunch of times. I need to add some neuroscience in it, but that won’t be a heavy lift for me. However, I ought to start this ten-month working cycle with way less stress. The house will be sold. I will not be paying any maintenance. I’ll have been divorced a year. My son is not in high school. And, I have new friends who have more experience than my limited and dated experience with ethical nonmonogamy.