Tag Archives: Milestones

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Half a Century

I spent my 20s establishing my career, my 30s coming out, my 40s getting financially stable, and wonder what my 50s will hold. I’m not sure.

I got off of a plane and had a private driver explain the boroughs of NYC to me after he offered to take me to my hotel. He told me some things that I could do which would be unique. After I checked in, I went walking.

After a huge serving of guacamole and two tacos, I heard the staff singing to a man and realized, “Wait, it’s after 2 in the morning, so it’s my birthday! I went over to his table and asked when his birthday was and it was actually the day before. I told him that mine was today. He wished me a happy birthday.

An hour later, the staff came out with a vanilla ice cream rolled in toasted coconut topped with sprinkles. They sang to me, which I usually hate, but it made me happy. I told everyone at the restaurant that I was 50.

Did you know that Julia Child was an accomplished chef, but that her tv show which propelled her into fame was filmed when she was in her 50s? Judi Dench was a stage actress who’s appearance in “Goldeneye” made her famous. She made that film at 50. I hope to publish my book at 50.

I did things the next day that made me happy. I looked at art for 4-hours and walked everywhere. I went to a restaurant in Manhattan on the other side of Central Park, and I tried to eat broccoli rabe, but they didn’t have any, so I ate roasted carrots and calamari rings with homemade red sauce. When I did finally get back to where I was staying I read “Class,” and spoiler alert, this book is even better than “Maid” is.

NYC was a great place to reach 50. I’m glad that I made it happen. My other goals pertain to my book, reading for pleasure everyday, staying healthy and strong, working on my emotional landscape and being intentional with my time.

I try to ensure that I’m reading everyday because I want to publish my book this year. Right now, I’m looking for an illustrator. Batman is off-grid. I took her bio off of my website. I can’t wait around for her, so I’m contacting folks on Fiverr. I thought that I had a good connection with an artist in Spain, but now the messages are gone. I have to keep plugging away

Making it to half a century is a big deal. I want to stay in good physical condition and connect with people who I love. It’s important to me to continue things that are meaningful to me, and I know that I want to let go of many other habits thereby disrupting some behavior patterns.

I read an article to get ready to write this post. The author says that when women turn fifty that they have to see if the curtains that see match the patterns in themselves inwardly and outwardly. Looking inward is always a little difficult for me.

I struggle a bit making sense of my own emotions (inwardly) so I have to take lots of time to process. I wonder if it would be helpful to rate my emotion daily as a tracking? Outwardly, I’m in good physical shape–especially for my age and the fact that my body was in pieces 36-years ago. I think that my body matches my mindset. I am thinking about tracking where I am day to day with my sleep, activity, level and human connections that occur in real life.

I’ve done it. I am the last one in my family of origin and I’m half a century. I visited the coolest city in the world (I’ll have an entry upcoming.). I have been reading voraciously, I am contacting professional illustrators for my book, I am quite fit, I am committed to improving my emotional bandwidth, and I refuse to say yes to spending time with anyone who’s life I don’t enhance and vice versa.

What did you do when you turned 50?

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Futures

Image by WOKANDAPIX from Pixabay

Yesterday, I had gotten my son an hour early to the venue, so walked around a little bit. I had some errors in the paperwork that I need to address going forward regarding ensuring a phrasing in client goals so my colleague talked to me about that. I told him that I would ensure that I had phrases about specific classes or careers going forward. Then the colleague who told me that she was too busy to work with a client came in and I realized that my colleague was thinking that I was like her. Beyond reproach. Can’t take feedback. That’s not me in the slightest. I mess up, make mistakes and try to improve every single day that I’m graced with life. I still feel like I could punch the other colleague that wouldn’t meet with the client, so I think that I’ll talk to her about that in August or September. Not seeing her for ten-weeks will be very nice.

My son talked about being a COVID high schooler in his speech. He then transitioned to talking about dropping out and making the best decision that he could by transferring to a small, tight-knit high school wherein you’d be checked in on all the time. Finally, he thanked the Principal, the Mental Health Provider and each of his teachers personally with a few sentences. They were really touched. He tied up by addressing the fellow graduates. His class was small: 58; and I think had he not dropped out of the comprehensive high school that he attended he would have been one of about 400 next May. We went to a pizza place that is a chain, but does brew beer and sat around with my cousin, her husband, his Godfather and two kids, our neighbors who are now so much like family to my son and I, a mother from his school in 6th grade and her child and several of his friends. It was a nice couple of hours. I printed thank you notes today and have some envelopes that were left over so I made notes in Word wherein I wrapped the thank you font text with a loyalty-free mortar board on it, folded the notes and cut them so they fit the envelopes.

I was looking at his diploma yesterday and got really choked up seeing my brother’s name where my son’s middle name is on the heavy stock paper. It’s so weird to me that my brother never graduated. My parents weren’t at my son’s graduation. Neither were his Dad’s parents because they attended their other grandson’s graduation out of state which was the same day. That makes sense. It’s legitimately that grandson’s graduation year. It’s not like I want to have a large amount of people around, but it’s still weird. Like I’ve written before, I had a typical nuclear family for a child of Boomers with me and my brother. At 47, there was only me left.

I like my son’s current girlfriend. He had a couple more and now feels like he’s settling on this one, and I like her best if that sticks. My son has done his fair share of cheating. And, the love of his life, got back with him by saying that they were undefined, but exclusive and then made out with one of his good friend’s friends. So, he has some relationship baggage already at the age of 17. I’ve been talking to him about ethical non-monogamy. I think that he’s listening too. The only time lately that he is hostile and vile is when he can’t bully me into getting his way. He wants to store nicotine vapes in my garage, and I don’t want to smell rotten Kool-Aid odor when I grab my bike helmet off of the shelf. His argument took shape as a gaslighting bully; however, these events are few and far between, so I’ll take it.

Parenting is often a real treat. I can’t wait to be an empty nester. It’s really soon–14-months away. I’m willing to cook for him and a significant or friend when he prearranges that with me, and I’m willing to take him to Costco. I’ll insure him for dental and medical, pay for a flip phone, and also will write any tuition check that he produces. Otherwise, he’ll just have to figure it out. He’s tall, good looking, smart, charming and talented, so he doesn’t really need anything that he doesn’t ask for. He used to tune me out completely and then after two citations he started realizing that I’m not totally full of shit. Again, he can be a bully on occasion, but it’s rare.

I think that mainly what you can wish for is that your children have it a little better than you did. According to Putnam (2015) that won’t happen though. I’m just hoping like I told my best friend from work when I was talking to her on the phone today that I can pay into long-term health insurance and all he’ll have to do is interview a CNA, check on me to have dinner that someone prepares once a week, and then do a simple probate when I’m gone. I don’t want him to go through anything that I did. And, I also don’t ever want an intimate partner wiping my ass.