The friend who I have been sleeping with is so kind. I can’t believe how conscientious she is about contact and staying connected to me. We talked last night before bed and then texted some more. I really hope that she will finally get some sleep. I like just being able to talk free from resentment and simply enjoy when we are together. I think that she and I really do have some destiny to stay in each other’s lives after we see out what it is that we are doing.
My ex texted me last night. It says that she misses me and that I will always have a piece of her heart. I don’t even know what that means really. I think that given what she does for a living and how she controls her friends that she is not able to separate how she shows up with others or even differentiate between her work and friendships. Even with her best friend, who she doesn’t see frequently, she still makes comments about and to directly in terms of the way that she leads her life. It’s really a classic Adlerian paradigm, and I’d rather be with someone and just be. I want judgment reserved. I’ll delete her message in a little while. I won’t contact her again. I’ll wish her a Happy Birthday, but I don’t want contact. I really do want a year’s worth of space.
I want kindness. I’m seeking it and give it anytime that I can. If someone is leading her life in a way that I don’t think is good, I can say that it wouldn’t be for me, but it probably works for that person. A good example is a friend who I’ve had for 25-years who has done break-up / make-up with her partner for 4-years. It would not be for me (And I have told her this twice), but I think that is the dynamic that she and her girl have, so it must work for them. Kindness and consistency works for me in addition to honest and open communication. I like having sex with someone who is kind, consistent, and honest with me too. I am having a good end to my vacation this week.