Today is supposed to have all kinds of luck surrounding it because it’s the last day that any of us will have that is three of the same numbers.  I was in Chichen Itza in November of 2010 with my ex (the drunk) and scholars showed us the Mayan calendar and then explained how it ran out–solely in terms of record-keeping–at the end of the year in 2012.  We also saw how all parts of the calendar were in 10s.  It was interesting.

I have had some really anxious kids, and I’m assuming that their families are also feeling stressed because the world is apparently ending today according to some extreme Christians.  I will work with two families this evening and support those systems as best as I can.  People are really overwhelmed and it is difficult to not take some of the stress on, so last night, I asked my son if he wanted to ditch his class and hang out and he completely agreed.  I may drop him down to only one dance class and guitar anyway, because I don’t think that he is learning much in his vocal class.  We ate, we read, we drew and then I did two sets with my colleague that was all that I had left in me, so I went to bed.

Historically, although I was born in an even year, odd years have held more fortune for me.  I already have some promise of things to come in 2013, because my Pastor approached me on Sunday and asked me to preach–likely in July.  We talked about it, and I’m excited.  I have to finish my practicum and dissertation next year too.

I wonder if I will want to officially get back with my ex?  I might if she really could learn to fight respectfully.  People who say that they never fight with their spouses and the like are liars.  Conflict is truly inevitable, but comfortably resolving things is an art, which also involves a chemistry between two people.  She and I did the old attack and avoid pattern, which I know can lead to resentment.  Which is why the Friday before the last time that I had sex with her I unloaded on her.  Why should I avoid anymore?  And also, why should I just take her bullshit?  It turned out that I didn’t hear her correctly, but since we are not dating, I just apologized and then chatted a bit.  A few hours later I wanted her, so I drove up there late that night and it was nice.

I believe in synchronicity and the lack of coincidence and that circumstances reveal themselves to you on your journey and will continue to do so in slightly different ways until you face them and move through them.  I have not moved through a relationship like this though.  There are only two that have ever had any hold on me, and both of them are still people with whom I have contact because of their lasting impacts on my journey.  In college, I had the healthiest relationship that I have ever had, because the girl was very healthy.  Unfortunately, I was not well and just moving through some of my past, so I was not always nice to her.  I have apologized several times and reminisced about good memories with her.  My ex-husband and I do some co-parenting, so I do have a relationship with him as well.  It seems to me that my ex, is not all that much of an ex, so we shall see what fortune brings with her in the next several months.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s