Monthly Archives: October 2023

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Huh?

I picked up Batman and she didn’t say good morning. I couldn’t tell if she was simply exhausted or actually a little pissy. I gave her one of the year-old pinecones. This one I’d kept in my hutch.

A year ago, actually EXACTLY a year ago yesterday, she had been laying on top of me on my couch and was complaining about being hot and I apologized because I’m a radiating charcoal briquette and she said, “I’m dressed for outside and it’s definitely me.” She popped up, took off her hiking pants, removed a base layer–I saw a quick flash of purple underwear, nice–and put back on her hiking pants and we resumed. Later, I was running my hands along the waist line of her pants and found a burr. It was a very young pinecone. We laughed about that for a couple days, “Why do I have a pinecone in my pants?” She’d been in a corn maze with her household prior to seeing me on the 30th last year. I had found another one on my floor and texted it as a picture to her just before 4 am when she’d left to get a couple hours of sleep before we worked. I think that one is on the plate below my Christmas Cactus that a family gave to me after my Mom died.

The ride in yesterday was ok. She fell asleep a couple of times, but not too many. Her eyes were so red and were swollen. How does she work on a couple hours of sleep?

I got a nail in my tire and had to ask my new colleague–he replaced the one who almost died who our Boss removed–to take me to the tire shop where I’d bought these tires after we were returning from scattering my parents’ ashes on my brother’s grave. Catholic took me back after they removed the nail, patched the tire and aired them all up well. I’m glad that I’ve gotten two-years of life out of these tires!

We drove home and I asked about the 3rd–she’s going to a dance show with her housemates–and the 10th–she’s going to Austin for a dance convention. I said that I would think of something epic in December. She was falling asleep again off and on and I wasn’t sure if my statement registered. I don’t think that I will. My friends say that her presentation is hot and cold. It’s not that, it’s that she is scheduled to the max all the time and must have some degree of FoMO because she really doesn’t sleep except in bursts during the day wherein she nods off. Scientifically, it’s not a good thing because she’s aging her cells prematurely. Realistically, it makes it difficult to make any concrete plans with her.

It was only the Realtor and the Nice Guy for karaoke, but it didn’t matter that no one showed, because we had a ton of fun and I sang five times and the Nice Guy did three times. I really like the Realtor. She’s so fun and up for anything. She doesn’t sing and had a good time meeting the Nice Guy and hanging out with us. I’m going to likely take my son and his girlfriend to the Nice Guy’s new dance performance in three Saturdays and that’s the one that the Realtor is going to see too. She speaks Portuguese and is stoked to see Samba again, and showed the Nice Guy pictures from the same company’s dance show from three years ago. I’m going to sit with her even if she brings her girlfriend. I like her. She joked about sitting in the car for six-hours instead of climbing a peak, and I said, “That was just bad circumstances.” She doesn’t go hard with activity. She works that hard. Again, Batman and the Realtor are both blue-eyed Millennial Capricorns. They don’t half-ass their interests and that is sexy.

This morning I woke up an hour before the alarm and just got up to write. I had two dream cycles and am not incredibly tired. I need to reflect before I go into this extremely busy work week and cold, cold cycle into work.

I had a follow request from the CEO. I’ve not seen the CEO in about 11-years. I blocked her on Gmail when she kept getting my son’s basketball schedule in 2014 and then just wouldn’t show up for games that she’d said that she was coming to. I got about six connection requests on LinkedIn and then reported her as harassing after a few years. I’ve kept her blocked on FB, where I don’t log in anyway, and then deleted her Instagram follow request this morning. We ended badly and she’s obsessed with her image of perfection (I would bet tons of money that she’s a 3 on the Enneagram.) so she has kept up this odd behavior for years. I’ve never run into her organically, and I’m sure it’s because I don’t go to the giant women’s first Friday dance event. It’s not because of her, it’s because I sing and don’t dance.

Within 24-hours I have had interactions with a woman who I’ve had some dates with, a woman who I’d love to date, and an old partner. Yes, I woke up early and needed to write.

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Pretty exciting

I slept like complete poo last night. I woke up at 10:30 and then midnight and had significant difficulty going back to sleep. Our Boss is now a bully at this site and I feel worried about the horrible afternoon meeting because it’s difficult to avoid being yelled at by her. She does it in front of everyone too. The good thing is that when I was tossing and turning not being able to get back to sleep with the midnight waking hour is that I came out to the living room, snuggled my cinnamon roll shaped dog and checked my phone. Batman texted me a picture of her in her Halloween costume that she wore to her themed dance Saturday. She looked so hot and it was a tight costume so you could see muscles and physique. AND, the nice guy is taking his car to get his moon roof fixed so it’s just us two this morning!

I will knock on her door this morning and ask her if she has her calendar. I want to do dinner and an aerial dance show on Friday or next Friday. I hope that she says yes!

Tonight is a huge group of folks for karaoke. The nice guy will be there–hopefully with an operational moon roof on his Jeep–and I invited Brooklyn and he and I both invited our colleague who almost died. I had a ton of fun with her in a Key West themed restaurant on Saturday. We both cried a tiny bit at dinner. I’m so glad that she didn’t, in her words, “join my [her] Daddy” last year at this time. She is also bringing her new roommate and her roommate’s mother. We worked with the former for a few years before she left given that she couldn’t survive our old Boss. I guess that we’re testing the Realtor’s extroversion this evening.

What an exciting day!

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Sad Str8 Women

Back when I was with the CEO, we’d been at a house party at one of Brooklyn’s friends. Her best friend from that time of her life was crying off and on because her husband had a heart attack and was in rehab for the 4th time. It was right after this time that he lost all of his restaurant chains and they divorced. The CEO told me, “If I was single, I would give her a mercy ____ .” She was generally such a treat to date!

I think of this experience given my adventures last night. Before our game, I put back on the same dome, painted my face thicker, and added a tail. We were all dinosaurs at kickball last night. We played well. I really want to play with these folks again, and have more phone numbers now. I went to the bar and didn’t have to suffer through Flip Cup, because I always walk back home from the field, let my dogs out, and put on jeans, which makes me late to the bar the nights that I go. I was talking with two of our teammates and they’d brought one of their sisters who they said that think is getting divorced, so when the Nurse asked me to take a pickle shot with her, I introduced myself to the sister and bought three shots.

Then, because I’m trained as a psychologist, she began telling me about her relationship. It was very similar to the experience that I had 12-years-ago. Her husband is off fentanyl and pain pills and taking something that you can buy and taking lots of it. I told her that she had to take care of herself and nurture herself. I added people who are addicted are not who you fell in love with, and he’d been in rehab twice, but now is using this substance–I would know the name if I heard it–all the time and it is obvious when he’s on it. She told me when he’s using that he says verbally abusive things to her.

After awhile she hugged me. Later she said that she loved me. She’s 36 and clinging to any warm body. And I don’t have the same philosophy as the CEO.

I left with the Nurse, and two other teammates. We got a free wrist band at the bar where Flip Cup is held. When we got there it was a drag show at the venue, which I don’t particularly enjoy. I asked my teammate if we could go back to her car, and we did. Before then, the Nurse told me that the sister was into me. Super yikes.

I walked to the local walk-up burger joint that we have, ate what I always order on the walk back to my car, and came home. I did, before I hung out around a pickle shot, take a picture with one of the opposing teammates. He was in a Batman costume and before we took our picture he asked, “Oh wait, would you like me to put on my mask?” Of course. I sent it to the Climber and captioned it, “Oh, yes.”

Deportes
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You could honestly fall in love with Batman

The nice guy got pink eye on Sunday. We had all commuted together on Friday and it was fun–that was the day that we took the Batman to the airport. On Monday I picked up Batman at her house. We joked and connected on the way in and had to work closely together for a mediation with a client during the morning. It went well, and from what I’ve gathered, the solution seems to be sticking.

I had to go to her office at the end of the day because she still was working with a different client. Then we finally got out of there. Work at this site sucks a little because our Boss is acting like a moody asshole. I’m actually sick of her shit. I told Batman that I kinda missed our previous Boss. Then I talked a little bit about our colleague who almost died by suicide. I’m taking her to a grill and seafood restaurant for her birthday celebration on Saturday. I guess we were talking about two people in a way so she thought that I was taking our previous Boss out for a bday dinner so I said, “What do I possibly have in common with __ ______ ?” She said quickly, “beautiful eyes.” I paused, picked up her hand and squeezed it.

I guess I’m lying to myself if I say that I’m not going to figure out how to make some concrete plans with her. She said that she’d have her calendar on her on Monday so that we’re able to do so. She also said, “Honestly, I’d gotten back from California at 2 am so I didn’t really have everything on me today.” It wasn’t climbing and paragliding but a social thing with groups of people at a Hilton. I don’t know if it was with dancers or climbers. I’d assume the former. I need to think of something sexy-fun to do with her in early November. The first time that I’d ever kissed her was a year ago on Tuesday. And that kiss lasted until 3:40 in the morning!

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Weekend = lots of talking, ditching your recital

I had kickball on Friday and was the only one dressed up. I guess our costumes were moved to next Friday and it was in the app, but I honestly didn’t see it when I RSVP’ed. I took the construction paper sun dome off and my teammates asked me if I wanted baby wipes for the yellow paint and I said, “I’m almost 50-years-old and don’t care.” We played well, and although I was exhausted, I did go to the bar and played a little flip cup. When I was in college we played beer pong and flipped quarters into cups, so I’m just learning flip cup.

I really like one of the Nurses on our team. He’s so approachable and funny. He had on booty shorts and was drinking really heavily because his husband, who is a PA, was driving. The Nurse was dancing and getting wild. The other nurse on our team, who I have just gotten closer with since last week, and he started spanking each other. Then he started talking about breasts and I was really glad to be in a sports bra. It’s just a weird and common gay man thing: many of them love and are obsessed with breasts. I was glad that mine were smashed down. The other nurse was saying that hers were too small. I left shortly after that.

I did the Saturday morning things and then drove to the foothills for an event. My favorite work partner–really my work husband–just had a baby. He’s gorgeous and really easy. I held him and we walked around and talked. I had brought coconut yogurt and the chocolate brownie flax muffins because his son is probably allergic to milk like he was as a young one, so his wife can’t have dairy. Their son isn’t gaining weight. I also brought pomegranate seeds mixed with berries. I kept those and sent the yogurt and muffins home with them. We only really talked about the baby.

I had a bit of time before my recital so I cooked and ate. I also had my neighbor come over and play with the irrigation settings so I could know how to use the fourth setting in the backyard which is my hose. I watered the areas that the irrigation doesn’t hit. I just don’t want water on my concrete patio. That’s wasteful and also ruins the concrete, so I’m going to get shade seeds from the hardware store and put those under the eaves near the patio and continue watering the grass under the shade of my neighbors’ Ponderosa Pine.

When I finally got to the art gallery and bar, they were rehearsing. They sounded great. The female vocalist was tall, gorgeous and had an incredible voice. I didn’t stay because I was drinking water, watching drunk people, realizing that I would have to be on a chair below the very crowded stage and things were already running late. I wanted to walk my dogs, watch tv, drink more water and get lots of sleep. I have had a ton of sinus pressure and some headaches lately too, so I wasn’t feeling perfectly well. I emailed our teacher in the car and went home and had a perfectly lovely night. I have to rally a lot of energy to talk in groups, so I just didn’t want to be there anymore because I’ve been talking A LOT lately.

I lift weights today and will get my weekly adjustment. Then I have an end of summer party with the organization that I volunteer with outdoors. I have even taken my son on one of the events wherein we hand watered native plants in an open space area. I love these folks. It will be fun. I’ll text the climber when I leave that event to see if she needs a ride home from the airport.

On Friday the nice guy rolled up with the climber and we drove in. The nice guy wants to go back to school. I didn’t realize that he only had a Bachelor’s degree and he wants to either become a mental health provider or write curriculum for schools. I gave him advice. I drove them and another colleague to a strip mall to pick up lunches, and paid for the other’s colleague’s lunch because I really like her. She’s so sweet. The climber and I reminisced about last fall and getting bear hugged and picked up together because Friday was an anniversary date of our site staying open. That could be a long, long series of blog entries, but many things are so scandalous and specific that it would alter this incognito writing that I’ve always done. Anyway, the nice guy said, “Picked you both up?” And the climber said, “Yes.” And he said, “You’re both petite so that makes sense.” I told him that people guess my weight under by 15-pounds usually and the climber quickly said, “Muscle weighs more.” The car got quiet. (//.//w/.//)

We drove her to the airport so she could fly out. She’s climbing and I’m sure paragliding all weekend with one of her partners who’s been in her life for 5-6 years. I’m sure that he is incredibly athletic and strong. I’m glad that she has him. I know that he flies here to see her during the year too. She thanked me for the ride and I gave her a hug and could feel her hands on the small of my back. So nice. I’ll either see her tonight, if she’ll let me pick her up from the airport, or I’ll see her tomorrow morning.

Next Monday will be very interesting. The nice guy and the Realtor and I are going to karaoke. I’ll invite Brooklyn too, and will text her about it tomorrow to give her a week’s notice. She and I sang for many years together in large groups, and she said she’d like to meet the nice guy. It’s going to be interesting to be with the Realtor in this group. She is a completely different person in a group. However, I told her that I’d cycle with her anytime, take her up a high peak, and that she’d love ______ and that she should come to karaoke with us. Now, with the exception of a birthday dinner in January, I’ve kept all my promises. I’ll bet that karaoke feels way different than the birthday dinner!

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I owe you nothing

I met with the Attorney for the Post Decree Consultation today and found out that the main problem with our divorce paperwork was that she didn’t disclose her condo which she retained. I actually didn’t write in the maintenance that I paid her 11-months either, so she’s paid off and nothing is owed to her. What you say doesn’t matter, and it’s what is written that is what you have to abide by. I don’t ever have to pay her anything and he advised me to not write to her again. I don’t need to and don’t desire any contact with her. She’s volatile and unpredictable. I think that I set up my Gmail label correctly too, so I won’t ever see anything from her. We haven’t exchanged text messages in 15-months, and so I deleted everything that we’d ever texted to each other awhile back. I don’t need to block her. It’s done.

I’m moving forward with my life and feel like the darkness is clearing. I went to my son’s work today and he wasn’t there. He can’t have dinner with me on Saturday night because he’s going to the Taylor Swift movie thing with his gf and family, so I’m going to go to see him at work this weekend. I want to see him once a week. I don’t want to ever live with him (or anyone else) again, but want to be a constant in his life.

I met with the landscaper again today. He is going to run one more water line and install three sprinkler heads and then I can have a nice small grass patch for my dogs. Watering it by hand has proven way too time consuming and sometimes I’m not at home, so it’s impossible. His company can also do concrete and he has no problem just patching the strip that was damaged by the previous neighbor’s leaky sprinkler system and the triangle area damaged by my evaporative cooler that is now dead. He’s cool and trustworthy.

I only work 5-7 until Tuesday, so I’m finally going to get some of the stuff that has piled up on me done. I have kickball tonight after I’m done with work and am going to go to the bar afterward. I didn’t go last week and our team manager wanted me to, but I told her that I just needed to stay home and be with my pets. I like to socialize a little bit when I’m not at work. I’m playing pickleball tomorrow morning and seeing Brooklyn on Sunday. Monday is carpet cleaners–they’re also doing some of the furniture too–the piano movers, and likely the remaining irrigation. Life is motoring along.

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Download

On Wednesday night, I had a fairly intense dream and want to write about it before my day forces it out of my brain. I was at a party at my best friend’s friend’s house. This friend had hosted a High Tea for Mother’s Day this past spring. The Realtor was there and we wound up flirting and later being physical. She was asking lots of questions about Batman. Vegan was there later and we wound up kissing. Before I left, I’d lost my shoes because furniture had been moved around, and when I found them, I wanted pictures of them both. The Realtor wanted one showing her legs flexed. I had my arm around her. Vegan and I also took a photo together. It’s like a poly download.

Updates on Saturday morning: I had made chickpea sandwich spread with Yumm! sauce. My neighbors are from OR, so they’d picked some up for me and I’m sad that it’s almost gone. We don’t have those restaurants in the Mountain West–they’re a PNW eatery. I stirred in onion whites and fresh dill and ate it on sourdough toast, so I texted Vegan that she’d like this sandwich spread, and she replied to sign her up and said that we should go climbing soon. That’s good because I don’t think that the University has auto belay.

I am wondering when I’ll have another pre-arranged thing with the Climber / Batman. I think that she was a little disappointed to not see me on Wednesday night. She had gotten sick–likely she has the same funky stuff that I do–and missed work on Wednesday. I only knew this because I was biking up the busy street around 7:20 in the morning and the nice guy rolled down his window and told me that she was sick. He wasn’t commuting in her car and was driving himself. So, when my son was over for dinner, I sautéed onion, garlic, celery and carrots and made a quick broth and added a few chicken tenders in my Breville. We dropped that at her house and her crabby cat greeted us on the porch. I snapped a picture. She texted a bit with me and said that she’d ventured out in the evening to climb because she felt better. I want to see her again soon. The art show was nice with her. I really like her company.

I’m not interacting with the Realtor at all. I did heart an Instagram post that she’d made. I look forward to her birthday dinner when we turn to 2024.

All the potlucks are also delayed until then, so I can’t see _____ . That’s a bummer. The only way to message her is to pay for the social app. No, thanks. That’s almost as bad as swiping.

I love all the members of my new kickball team. We’re pretty good too. I’ve only popped it up once and have otherwise always been on base. Time for some bases in my personal life!

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Needed: Saddle Hours

I took the first half of the mountain biking class yesterday; however, I had summitted a mountain on Sunday after 4-and-a-half hours of sleep, was coming off a 48-hour M-F, played kickball on Friday night, and left my Thermos at home yesterday so had a lack of substantial caffeine. I also have had the Non-COVID, non-Strep bizarre sinus, poopy thing for awhile, so was certainly not on my A-Game. We jumped the first rocks to head up to start the long downhill and I dodged some rocks and was motoring when I felt lactic acid in my thighs. I dismounted and talked to the other instructor.

It was really cool when I got up there initially because the guy who is a joy was the other instructor. He’s young, from VT, and loves beer. I’m going to climb two more Thursdays to hang out with him. Then the wall closes. I’ve not heard from Vegan, so I don’t know how I’ll get gym time going forward. I wish that the Rec Centers had walls. I guess I can check if the University does, and use theirs if they have auto-belay. I can use it now because of climbing with Vegan. I can’t wait for VT to see that! He has only seen me not trusting it and has witnessed me downclimbing over and over.

There is a Yeti that has a small frame that is listed at $3,200. That is way better than 6k. You can get that one shipped to you or a bike shop for 4-5K, so I want to decide on the price beforehand. I sent an email to the owner of it. We’ll see. I’d imagine that by Craigslist haunting I can get one eventually. I don’t need instruction anymore. I cycle all the time so some rudimentary moves are ingrained in me. I just need hours in the saddle on mixed terrain and want to do some of that alone. I’ll also use my “Outside +” subscription to watch videos so I can get more tips. I know the basics now and have been on a mountain bike twice, and had a shitty mountain bike that Brooklyn gave to me that I rode for years. I biffed on it once riding a singletrack. I’m ready to commit to learning more, and the long class and half class instruction yesterday have made me ready.

After the skills portion of the class, and then my bailing after the initial downhill, I decided to hike and see some leaf changes. I’m a bit bummed that I saw a HUGE aspen tree that had many shades of orange and yellow on it last Sunday, but was hurried because the Realtor had to get to a 4:00 appointment, and I couldn’t justify stopping to get a picture. I had no idea until then that foliage is completely different at elevation. It was backdropped against a blue, dark green, and purple mountain. Oh, well. I wound up having a nice, little hike yesterday and saw some beauty.

I am going to walk my dogs after I finish my coffee, and then I’m meeting nice Aries for brunch. I have two nice Aries in my life. They’re birthday twins. One I’ve known for 35-years, and the other is my friend who I sang karaoke with all last winter. She was really gorgeous when we were in our 20s. We have fun together. Before then I need to do my weights day. I’m not going to do 55-lbs though, and will instead drop to 40-lbs for my sets because I still don’t feel in tip top condition. I wanted to write today to commit to a goal of saddle time on a Mountain Bike… Happy Sunday, y’all!