I had written this entry in July of 2013 which was just a tiny bit before I would start dating my ex-wife. I am going to add more pictures to the entry alongside some of my current considerations.

For years, I would say, “Everyone has baggage, but the art of relationship is finding your matching set.”  However, now that I’m pushing 40, it’s not really a “matching set” per se, but it’s complementary pairing.  Sounds easy, but after you’ve had several dating experiences, you can see that it is not as simple as it sounds.

Given the imperfections and, in fact, rather annoying things that all of us tend to do, it’s exceptional when those flaws are not “deal breakers.”  Some things just simply go fine together.  Other things cause sparks and friction like you wouldn’t believe.  Actually, I think that you do (probably) believe it or have experienced it.

I tend toward odd worries and don’t always trust that things will eventually work themselves out.  I also put up with far too much for too long, because I figure, relationships are hard.  Accepting my journey has helped.

I think that there is a complimentary set for most of us.  I also think that we tend to seek out qualities that are either part of us, or those that we have somewhere deep in the recesses of what is our true selves.  Even when a relationship ends, we can reflect on what changed for us, note growth, and learn to seek again what made us stay or alter the way in which we see things.

Oftentimes, I find some of my writing immature. This entry (above which was entitled “Complimentary Set”) was one that I woke up in mind today. I thought that I would give it a reread. I find that much of it is still salient for me. There are a few of the topics within it which I believe firmly almost 13-years later.

You can like someone a whole helluva lot and she can trigger the shit out of you.

I am not as much of a worrier generally since microdosing psilocybin for 13-months now. I also don’t believe anymore that little things will work themselves out. You’re compatible with someone for a longer term connection or you’re simply not. At mid-life, you don’t really have the days left to string things along that don’t work for the other party and you.

I’m pragmatic.

I’m also walking into love atm, so I’m feeling romantic.

I want to remember some things about Scorpio that I can reread later. We do have complimentary sets of baggage. I don’t think that we tend towards triggering each other’s shit either. Feels to me as if we’re simply learning how to treat each other. I do like having a girlfriend and an anchor partner.

I still love lists:

1. At the end of our first date we were across a big table from each other and she walked her fingers up my arms when I reached across it
2. She wasn’t going to kiss me after our first date, so I held her low back and looked at her like, “Really?” and then I kissed her
3. She told me that going away together was too soon when we were having our second date: then she kissed me passionately when she was leaving, bit me a little bit, and when she got home sent me a picture of her legs with some audio before a roaring fire (I guess that she changed her mind.)
4. She thought that there was something wrong with the matte in a picture in our expensive hotel room–we will always have what we refer to as “The Poop Butterfly” and she can imitate the other clerk snarling at it when I brought it down to the front desk and that makes me laugh even right now as I type
5. I like one of her friend groups and they seem to like me
6. We burned a bundle with cedar leaves, cinnamon and orange in her fireplace when I first spent the night there and it’s for abundance, prosperity, joy, and protection
7. Her daughter said unprompted to her that she likes me