A little bit of flexibility

So, Friday we spent the night together and it was good to talk and connect.  We were both exhausted, and again, I think that as we are both mothers, Friday nights can be kinda like collapse time rather than anything hot and probably always will have that flavor if we decide to make the plunge.  If we do, I would hold firm that she and I pick something…  Together.  I don’t think that it’s equitable to move into somebody’s house where they have memories from previous stuff and I don’t think that either of us moving into the other’s house makes sense.  She has held firm that my area is NOT an option.  Although I do love it here, and have spent 30-years total in this city, I have some bad memories. I would be willing to move.  Not into anybody’s house.

Let’s go back to the drunk.  She wanted my son and I not only to move 6-states away, but she also wanted us to move into her parent’s house!  Not that they were there yet, but who the fuck wants to live in somebody else’s house?  How is that making dreams and decisions together?!?  And that’s what I’m looking for.  I’m looking for someone to make some decisions WITH me.

The town of compromise actually has some good schools in it too.  Ethnic and cultural diversity is important for me as well, and it’s a stone’s throw away from a great little city.  As long as we could financially make it make sense, I would be down for a move in about two-years.  I could easily give up my house and I would like it if we could make some new friends and connections together.  When you are this age, you don’t always fit into your partner’s friends circle easily.  I think that my friends in general are accepting and just glad that I’m in love for real with someone, and I’ll always see them.

So tonight is actually a date-date.  Which is good.  I need some intimacy and connection in that realm.  It’s odd that I put such a high premium on it, but I do.  With her, it’s so incredible too and has it’s own set of emotions that are tied to it.  You can honestly feel love expressed physically, and I thought that stuff was bullshit until now.  Truly.

Well, it’s not.  She is who I want to build a life with in the future.  I want us to raise our boys and have at least one more kid, but do that together.  Closely aligned with that is that I want us to do everything together, which includes working on the nuts and both conjointly of cohabitation.  I love her.

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