If my Enneagram isn’t referred to as the Protector or the Boss, it’s referred to as the Controller. Does it logically follow that I am controlling? I will tell you that I don’t like to be controlled.

Last night my new friend who has become like a BFF to me and Scorpio went to the Discussion Group that I’ve been going to for about 3-years. (The Women’s one in which I’d met my ex-GF has disbanded alongside that parent group.) We had a dinner before and yet had to move our plates into the discussion room as we weren’t done yet.

The discussion was good. I only contributed to a question regarding when you’re in a long-term relationship staying sexual. I think that conversation about what you’re dreaming about or where you see yourself is a good springboard for getting frisky. I probably should have said doing that laying down or holding hands when having this conversation would be best. Otherwise, I listened in on having new relationship energy (NRE) for things rather than people and having boundaries with your partners when you are experiencing life stress.

I was glad that someone introduced the last topic.

I felt like I had to bundle HBO and Max with my Disney and Hulu account. If I could dip out of work today I’d binge “The Dark Wizard.” I couldn’t just add those services for whatever reason and had to make a new password.

Then, I realized that I had to text my ex-GF. She uses my Disney for her daughter. Disney doesn’t really have rules and you can add accounts, so my son (who lives with me) and her daughter use the Disney that I pay for. I think that her daughter mostly uses it for watching the same scenes in “Moana.”

I wasn’t sure how to introduce this password change with her. So I sent a text:

“I added HBO and Max to _______’s and my account for Hulu and Disney and it didn’t allow the old password when I added these to the bundle. The new password is ___________ .”

A few hours later she texted, “Thank you!” so I put a thumbs up on that text.

She doesn’t respect my boundaries. In fact, because I have them and won’t text about loving her, took two months off from contacting her after she broke up with me, and generally don’t want to see her regularly, she texted that I am cold and have no concern for anyone’s wellbeing except my own. That’s her narrative which is fine. You can’t control anyone’s narrative or should you want to do so. People think what they want about you.

I think that boundaries are personal. And when someone has to attack your character or call you names when you have them instead of approaching you from a place of curiosity or even expresses disagreeing with your decision, you don’t need to have contact with the person.

Conversely, Scorpio made conversation with my friend, was charming and affectionate, met hew people and quietly engaged by her presence in group last night. Except for being water signs in their sun sign, they have nothing in common.

I went to this discussion group one time with my ex-GF and it was fine yet not connected. That’s how we are now. Fine and have no connection.