From one of the best films of 1989:
“That’s not even a scam!”
“What’s a scam?’
“Going out as friends.”
“No, it’s not; a scam is lusting.”
[in unison] “Then what’s a date?”
“A date is prearrangement with the possibility for love.”
[whispering] “Then what is love?”
I adore Cameron Crowe. I believe with my whole body the dialogue that he writes and his actors execute. I think people 10-15 years younger than me tend to read currently my blog. First of all, thank you, as it curbs loneliness and secondly watch “Say Anything.”
I went out with the nice guy last night. His gf bailed as did his friend and one of his dance partners who was going to bring a friend. There was a young, hot redhead. I gave her a hug at the end of the night. The KJ was in training under the normal KJ and she didn’t have the balance of the music right, so I was pretty mid. It’s cool. I’ll probably just buy one of those karaoke machines for my house which is compatible with Spotify after I pay off my ex-wife. My God can he sing! He’s even on testosterone and nailed his song.
On the way home I told him that I want to have 2-3 partners. He said that then they all want to do stuff with you at the same time. I said, “Then don’t trip out. Make plans and follow through on those and be honest. I see this idea of mine as very different than dating. It’s an adventurer, someone to go to music venues with, and with whom to tool around, and another to look at art and go to dinner with. Everyone STD tests and discloses and I live my life as do the women.” He told me that I should talk to the climber who has a polyamorous commmunity. I said, “I don’t want to get set up. I’ll meet people organically. I have a scam tomorrow night.”
I went back to the bar, because he was too tired and I had to take him home. I hung out up front. I had given the bartender my copy of “Our Kids.” She wants to go into politics. She needs to read it. How is it that my generation will be the last homeowners? Millennials and Z will have to cohabitate and likely with several people to own. That’s fucked. I sang one more time and had to pay $10, hugged the redhead and went home.
I am scamming tonight. The Vegan and I are hitting the wine bar. I won’t order wine, because I have rules with alcohol and she stopped drinking. I have not touched her since October when I’d not seen her in months and we were both in a live training having texted during the virtual components. I did not hug her at the convention or at lunch. There is something uptight about her. She used to be sarcastic and she isn’t now nor does she tease in a sardonic way, but I think that I am too flawed for her. I slept with my Boss in 2007, and I don’t want an exclusive relationship. I’m still glad to have a scam tonight. I don’t think that it involves lusting and is simply going out as friends. Again, it’s social and curbs my loneliness. I’m a sexual or 1-1 variant via the Enneagram, so hanging with one person tends to be my comfort zone. I like the intensity of connection with a person and feeling energy of that person completely.
I am persnickety as fuck. I can’t bowl with a splinted finger. I sucked on Wednesday. I can’t sing when I can’t hear myself. I think that I need to gain more skill with being off my A-game!