I think that this time around in addition to being more free and easy, we need to maximize seconds that we have with each other and really appreciate the gift that it is to be in each other’s company.  I don’t think that she knows me that well, which is funny, because when we leave for our little break, we will have been together for 8-months less our two week (and some change) hiatus.  She thinks that I distract myself with girls when I have had a breakup and has no clue how funny I am.  At this point, showing each other a good and fun side of each other is critical, I think.

I hope that we go out…  I think it will be good for her to see me interacting with other people, and if I run into girls who I know, I am witty and people tend to keep me talking.  I know that she hasn’t been exposed to a girl like me and her two partners needed her.  I want her and sometimes really need her arms around me, but I’m independent and really fine on my own less the libido issues that I have.  Is this approach and manner that I operate confusing?  I’m sure it is odd.

Spending time down here is a good thing too.  I’m glad that we will be in the city and can crash at my house.  I don’t love driving long distances or being in my car.  Not my thing.  My things are:

1. Laughing

2. Playing outside

3. Keeping things neat

4. Talking to my friends

5. Having some alone time for contemplation each day

Above all though, I want a woman to want me above all and have complete passion for me.  I would not say that the barrage of complaints have already begun, and thank God, because it’s been one week, but she was short yesterday and still jumps to conclusions about me.  I’ll just see.  I want this date–and I’m grateful that it is a real date that won’t be cancelled–and then when we go away, I want to see what comes about.  However, if I feel even a slight push-pull or that I am a partial punching bag, I’m going to bounce and be firm about space.  I like falling in love.  I want to stay there.

6 thoughts on “Expectations

  1. You are together. How well do you know each other?

    • TomBoy says:

      Well, we have shared a lot of information and then lots of time for the last 8-months, but I’m not sure if I can navigate all the stop and start. I will know what I want after Memorial Day. I’m leaning toward going back to being single. I find that she caretakes too many to really attend to me in a way that I want a girlfriend to connect to me. Starting off with partners in mind and then going to nearly “casual” dating is not likely to work. Thanks for reading.

  2. the longest vacation says:

    Ive found, that not always, but often, doubt is there for a reason. If you already doubt staying together, then don’t force yourself to stay just to do it. Keep your relationship with yourself intact first and foremost ❤

    • TomBoy says:

      I just don’t know. I WON’T do that push-pull shit again with her. She can push and I’ll bounce. I’ll write again on the weekend after Friday, and know that I’ll be clear by Memorial Day. Thanks for your support and reading. I’m solid.

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