As compared to most people, I have a different relationship to phones generally, and think that it’s because I’m a Gen Xer. Mine rang at 7:20 and I was just slightly late as it went to VM. I was still in bed due to the nice overcast morning. (I don’t have my cell anywhere near me at night.) I like to talk on the phone. In fact, if I talk on the phone on a weekend day, I don’t have to see or talk to anyone for the rest of the day and still feel happy.
The actor Molly Ringwald in “16 Candles” spends evenings talking on the phone. It’s a thing in that movie that she has a phone in her room with a dedicated phone number.
I, myself, used to stretch the cord through the whole house into my room when I was twelve in one of the rentals that we lived in. I could talk on the phone in private in my room.
I think that now people use phones to scroll through extremely short videos. It’s little dopamine hits as they laugh or smile. It’s being chained to a feed of hits to the reward center in the brain. In contrast, my belief is that talking on the phone involves a connection to another person. I simply like having conversations on a phone. I like the weight of a cordless phone, and have one with a spiral cord in my bedroom. (I do have the ringer off on that one.)
What do you think? Are you confused by the picture in this entry?
Parenting Update: My son came over for dinner last night and we talked. He is now obese and it’s so sad. I don’t want to fix him, but I want to support his health. He’s agreed to work out with me on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He can only do every other Tuesday, because he goes to his girlfriend’s parents’ house on Tuesday nights. I guess that is fine because I teach on Tuesday and then start teaching again on August 20th. I want him to increase his own positive self-talk too.
Spring Weather I walked the dogs this morning before my first evaluation meeting on Zoom and connected with a neighbor. The ducks were landing in the creek and the air was cold and humid. It was so nice. I see this neighbor most afternoons, and I was walking early this morning as I’m working from home, so I saw him. My older dog played with his adopted pit bull on their leashes. I also had a good talk with my next door neighbor about work in both of our houses and my spring solo vacation. It was so nice to be outside connecting.
Home I’m in a great space. I love having the fence fixed and will have everything paid off on Tuesday. I had already paid for all of the electrical work.
A company put in insultation in several walls and above my cabinets. Sadly, I can be so distrusting, so I’m going to check the attic before I write my review too. I know the old insultation was removed, and I hope that I have a ton up there alongside a barrier when I check it.
I didn’t accrue any interest on these things and am so glad for that. I feel lucky that I make enough money to do work in my house.
My Work I’ve been fixing myself too. I am working on kindness to all and neutrality in some instances. I feel physically fit and solid.
Lately, I’ve had new readers to my blog. I also have folks that have stopped by here for 12-years. I think that the advice that I could impart to readers is to take a spring assessment of what you’re doing and if those actions are creating what you want.
What are you working on this spring? Do you have anything that you know requires fortification? Is there a character trait which you’re addressing?
My Aunt turns 70 today. I was supposed to be there, but I had an oppressive headache and then a sore throat on Thursday so after I completed an annual weird requirement that I have daily for about 9-days a year at work, I just went home. I have hundreds of hours of sick leave, so taking five of them didn’t matter much. I slept. I knew then that I wouldn’t have the bandwidth for 10-hours in the car over the course of about 26-hours total on Saturday and Sunday. My Aunt is super religious, so she thinks that my not being there is all part of the grand plan.
There are things that we can’t control. We can run the risk of doing very little and being given to inertia because of our own inaction. Like my tattoo, like everything, it’s all a balance.
I took the climber to work last Monday and I asked her if she could still illustrate for me. Mostly, I got a non-answer. It was “I love the story. Originally, I said that I didn’t know that I was the best person for the job. Then things have gotten so complicated at work, so I haven’t sketched much.”
I told her that I would ask her again in May.
I’m not sure that I’ll see her much after the end of May either and that does make me really sad.
I’m not worried about another illustrator. With her being non-binary she is the best person for the job because of my content; however, she’s historically really difficult to pin down anyway. That sounds kinky, and I don’t mean it that way, but she always has good intentions and little follow through. The drawing for the book is like other things that have never happened, and that is not about me, but is about her.
There are a whole bunch of things that I’ve said to clients frequently and one of them is, “You can control yourself.” I’ve done a really good job with her in terms of having no expectations or demands. I can control that.
I also am proud that I told her on the way home last Monday that I’m being as kind as I can with everyone who I date going forward; although, I’ve yet to have a third date with anyone. I have been told that because I won’t remarry or cohabit that I’m just getting over being divorced.
The thing is that I can control my actions with women. I can be open and honest. I seek magic moments and that’s it. If they happen frequently, that’s great. I’m open to magic moments with women who I see weekly, monthly, annually or whenever. I’m done being conventional and following the status quo.
I also told her on Monday that I don’t want a breakup again. I told her that things that were part of a relationship can be taken out of the relationship completely based on communication. I said that I don’t want what I have with one of my exes and that is the feeling that I must run away if I ever see her.
I’m not seeking anything with any woman in particular. I’m open getting to know a woman and talking about what make sense for us. What makes sense can change and needs negotiation and solid communication.
Last weekend, my head hurt so badly that I couldn’t even box. I had to leave 15-minutes into class. I went to guitar and couldn’t figure out the down tuning so I just practiced chord changes and didn’t strum. I had a low day emotionally and was pretty well exhausted. I did clean my whole upstairs and answered an email from the accountant re: how HSA works in my new pay structure and how 529c contributions work in my son’s ESA.
Prior to leaving the house for boxing and guitar, I met with the carpenter in the cold dreary weather. I had thought that if I had two posts installed into concrete, I could get my garden fence fixed. I was correct, but on the gate side it needs two more posts and bracing with 2x4s behind the fence line.
He’s wonderful. He is professional and smart. Although, he’s an elite athlete, he is humble and gentle. He reached down to pet my ancient dog and agreed that she is a good girl. I’ll be really glad to have my fence fixed, and am grateful that he is doing the work and will get the money for it.
On Saturday night Rower called me. (AI keeps telling me that I need more context, so I’ll mention that all people in my blogs are listed in the “Characters” button that should be accessible from the front page.) I couldn’t believe that she called! We’re both Gen Exers–I think that she’ll be 52 next month–but I don’t hear from her when she has New Relationship Energy (NRE) until conflicts between her and her significant begin. Not now, and I thanked her for that. We had a great conversation and her gf sounds perfect for her and actually treats her well and nurtures her. She said that it sometimes runs the risk of mothering, which is so gross, but that she’s a good communicator and they’re dialing that in together.
I talked through my tooth with her. It helped and now I’m researching it to reproduce here in my blog. Much of the research in adults related to infection post root canal. Oddly, I’m glad that I didn’t have to have one of those and had an extraction instead. However, because I had an infection which was somewhat pervasive: through my tooth, in my sinuses and through the roof of my mouth, it’s problematic to implant the screw. That is why the surgeon was glad that I had a wide enough sinus cavity. I’m not glad that for that right now. I still have little residual sinus stuff. Rower, who’s a Nurse, told me that the rinse that was prescribed is what medical professionals use to scrub in for surgeries! GROSS.
I went to a couple of Meet Ups yesterday and they were underattended. I had some fun though. I met a new group leader and we bowled–it was just he and I. My other one was my book club and we had no leader. I was glad that it was simply a social meet up rather than a book discussion, but it was still very weird that it was two newer members and me who showed. No host. 5 vacant RSVPs.
The carpenter is the climber’s primary and nesting partner. I had a good first impression of him when I met him last weekend and now I love him. He’s simply phenomenal. He’s probably in his 20s, and could therefore be my son, but he’s quite poised and cool–easy to talk and relate to. We drove to the lumber yard late at night and he checked his phone for the materials list that he’d made. We loaded concrete bags together onto the flat cart–and eventually into my car, and then stacked them in my garage–and talked so easily. He is down-to-earth and open in a way that I’m not used to with cismen. If I commute with the climber tomorrow it will be difficult for me to not just talk about how wonderful he is! It’s pretty funny that he currently has keys to my house.
I have a community walk this morning. I don’t think that I’ll bring my dogs to it. They’re getting so elderly, and tend to just sniff. I’m going to family karaoke tonight and don’t know if I’ll see the woman who has 6 kids and is bi and in a closed marriage. Wow! What a sentence. I’m really glad that my life is uncomplicated!
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