I have been out on three dates since I have been on the app. I had plans for six, and two were not happening. One because the girl was a tease and maybe side hustling for money and the other because I wasn’t positive if I’d be back in town on time and also got a flat tire. She asked someone else.

The other one was cancelled by a woman who has had the best DM game that I’ve read since May and we had an easy and fun conversation on the phone before we made date plans. I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t super disappointed in her cancellation. I won’t text her because she said the time wasn’t right and she is presently maxed out socially, but I’ll hope that she texts me someday in the future.

Dating kind of sucks.

I am having my fourth date today. And it’s with a woman whom I’ve gone out with one time before.

We talked on the phone in May before I left for Lake Michigan. And it was hard to hang up. She can really talk. I mean that. I thought that it was maybe because she was nervous. Well, our date was like that too and I told my therapist last week that she asked me one question, and the question was defensive.

People feel some kind of way when you work in mental health.

She asked, “Do you ever have the ability to turn it off given that you provide mental health?”

I talked about what I had suggested for her son when she was talking about him and she qualified the question. She was making sure that when I meet people I don’t look for pathology.

I told her that people who don’t see their role in lack of compatibility with previous partners have red flags for me. I think understanding attachment is important. I also think that it takes two to fight and have conflict. Now that I’m not having stress of cohabiting, I can see that I’m able to resolve conflicts. I don’t have enough skills or desire to fix problems when you have to see the significant day in and day out. I’m glad that I know that about myself now.

Those things didn’t scare her off.

However, she really didn’t stop talking. They were long stories too–albeit all interesting–and sometimes I didn’t have to use attending behaviors or anything. She just talks.

So, I called it out. At the end of our date I said, “I hope that you learn some things about me when we get together in two weeks.”

My GF turned bright red when I told her that over our dinner last Saturday.

I said, “That’s mean? I meant it. She LEGIT asked me one question, and I don’t want to date someone if she doesn’t want to get to know me.”

My girlfriend said that she would be profoundly embarrassed and ashamed if I said that to her.

I told her, “You ask me questions all of the time. The first time we texted, you asked me all kinds of questions. You’re interested in me.”

My therapist thought that was a good question to see if she knew that she had dominated the conversation.

Regardless, I’m curious today if she and I have chemistry. That’s such a difficult thing. You have it or you don’t. I’m going to go to the gym now and then get ready for my date. We shall see.