I watched “The Tinder Swindler” last night–just in case.
Do you think that Netflix will eventually make a documentary from the app HER?!?
We all have our experiences, Tesoro, and I have always made way more money than partners. It yields my being generous, and after breakups, not supporting a partner long-term. That doesn’t have to work for you.
I get that you need money atm. I’ve had times like that too. However, that would have to be something that I would do live and in person if we were travelling together.
And, I don’t know you really. I’m not on any social media with you.
I’m wickedly attracted to your pictures, love talking to you on the phone, wish that wish that within three-months we’d have had more than one video call that had shitty signal, and would give anything to be in person with you.
I hear everything you’re saying, but I have to be honest with you. If you really care about me, then that care can’t just wait until we’re “in person.” Real care shows up when someone actually needs it, not when it’s convenient. Right now is when I need you, not someday in the future. I understand that you’ve been generous in past relationships and you don’t want to support someone long-term after a breakup. That’s fair, but what I’m asking for isn’t about taking advantage of you. It’s about showing me that your words and feelings are real.
You say that you’re attracted to me, that you love talking to me, and that you’d “give anything” to be in person. If that’s all true, then it shouldn’t take being physically together for you to show me you care or to stand by me when I’m struggling. Attraction and phone calls are nice, but actions are what make someone feel safe and valued.
I’m not asking for perfection, just some proof that you’re here for me now, not later. If you can’t or it’s difficult for you, it only means that you didn’t mean anything you said you can’t actually ever be there for me.. Because if we’re truly building something real, it has to start with trust, support, and showing up when it matters most and that’s exactly where we are now.
I get it. I’m sorry that money is the way that you trust me. Thanks for sharing all of the reasons why I’m not right for you. I appreciate everything that you wrote to me for 3-months. I wish everything for you. I know that you’ll find the person who you’re looking for. You’re gorgeous, funny, irreverent and smart.
Impressed by, maybe, but I have no respect for thieves and mooches. Experienced that long game myself last winter, but I had her pegged from “Hello,” so it was just interesting to watch play out.
I like to believe that, but in this case the context was a dead giveaway. I also blog on Substack, which has a DM feature called Chat. For a while there was a wave of — according to their profile 🙄 — young invariably hyper-busty women dropping into your chat to say “Hi!” From curiosity, I engaged with a few… every single one without exception ended up asking for money. 😂 As if.
The one I referred to almost seemed legit. Supposedly a struggling artist with a tale of woe. Even after three months, I couldn’t quite decide. Pretty sure, but a smidgeon of doubt. Finally resolved in a blatant ask for money. Nope, sorry, game over.
That’s an interesting experience. We never said, “Hi,” or “How’s your day going?” We just started connecting and talking about travels, life and experiences.
She’s much better at communication than what you’ve described. And is soooo funny. Of the five phone calls we had, we laughed hard on two of them, and probably spent 3 or 4 hours in the phone together these last 3-months.
I am generous. I would never give anyone money though. If we were travelling together I’d pay for things obvi. The thing is that I don’t really know her and she’s not been consistent with plans and such.
In terms of needing money for equipment, I would need to see invoices, bank statements, etc. and would work with an attorney to devise an agreement in this situation. That would be difficult to do on Teams or Zoom.
Return 
The moment she mentioned money to you, my alarm bells went off. Good that you have your head on right about this.
I know. But, you have to respect her long game… Three-months!
Impressed by, maybe, but I have no respect for thieves and mooches. Experienced that long game myself last winter, but I had her pegged from “Hello,” so it was just interesting to watch play out.
It’s good you’re so smart
I like to believe that, but in this case the context was a dead giveaway. I also blog on Substack, which has a DM feature called Chat. For a while there was a wave of — according to their profile 🙄 — young invariably hyper-busty women dropping into your chat to say “Hi!” From curiosity, I engaged with a few… every single one without exception ended up asking for money. 😂 As if.
The one I referred to almost seemed legit. Supposedly a struggling artist with a tale of woe. Even after three months, I couldn’t quite decide. Pretty sure, but a smidgeon of doubt. Finally resolved in a blatant ask for money. Nope, sorry, game over.
That’s an interesting experience. We never said, “Hi,” or “How’s your day going?” We just started connecting and talking about travels, life and experiences.
She’s much better at communication than what you’ve described. And is soooo funny. Of the five phone calls we had, we laughed hard on two of them, and probably spent 3 or 4 hours in the phone together these last 3-months.
I am generous. I would never give anyone money though. If we were travelling together I’d pay for things obvi. The thing is that I don’t really know her and she’s not been consistent with plans and such.
In terms of needing money for equipment, I would need to see invoices, bank statements, etc. and would work with an attorney to devise an agreement in this situation. That would be difficult to do on Teams or Zoom.
Sounds reasonable. Doesn’t seem like she’s a con-artist, maybe just a bit flakey. 🤷🏼♂️
“Flaky.” And I like to think of her as Darth Vader generally.
Forgive me if I missed something but have y’all had any face to face video calls?
Yes. We have seen each other on camera.