I have so many friends. I’m not sure how many…

I have four best friends.

One was mine from middle school. He and his girlfriend bought a house way north of the city, so I don’t see him often. He and I keep in touch on Instagram. I should carve out time this summer to take him and his girlfriend to dinner.

I have a best friend from my first round of graduate school. She is now practicing in Germany where she bought a house. She lived in Japan for a couple of years too. We’ve done a few Google Meets on weekends to get our time zones to cooperate. Otherwise, she and I email one another.

My local best friend is like my sister. If I didn’t have her, I’d have lost my house in 2009. I have contract work from her and have spent countless holidays with her. We also hiked with our kids all the time when they were young.

I have a best friend from work. I met her through contracting, and then LA and another colleague and I went to visit her in her state. She has been through a lot with me. Lately, she’s been my biggest supporter since my GF broke up with me and I’ve been dating.

Dating.

DM.

Sometimes realize someone is completely vacuous, and then stop DMs.

Move to a call.

Ask to take a walk.

Sometimes the latter is weeks away and you have to go back in the app, hope it’s not archived and look at the pictures of the woman.

It’s fairly strange.

On the 3rd, I matched with a girl who was using the app to make friends. I thought that was interesting, and she was super pretty and outdoorsy so I swiped right and then I got the dopamine hit “It’s a match!” complete with rainbows, confetti and a framed profile picture.

Anyway, she’s European and has lived in the US for years now. Her parents live here and she lives on the West Coast. We had a lively conversation and moved to Signal.

We talked on the phone briefly yesterday and will have a video call soon.

She wanted to go on a winter vacation with me for a month to get to know each other IRL.

I told her that I get one day off in January.

She asked if we could do a vacation in February.

I told her that I also get one day off that month.

She works in an industry in which you have assistants and you plan your vacations in advance. She won’t work in the company she owns in January or February, but she will have virtual things that she does for her other work which is much more passive and doesn’t require anything but electronic management and emails.

My months that are like that are June and July. I pop on Zoom for a total of 4-hours and answer one set of emails across the three positions that I have.

It’s an academic year; however, it also means that if I’m in the Northern Hemisphere, I can vacation when it’s really too hot.

I can’t take weeks away in January or February.

I am measured, calculated and cautious.

A month long vacation sounds intimidating.

It’s like a job interview that doesn’t end.

It’s like an arranged marriage based in no previous in person contact.

After our phone call, and her asking for a way in which we could vacation together via DM throughout the late afternoon and evening, she came to the understanding that her idea with me couldn’t come to fruition this academic year. She wants us to video soon and continue being pen pals.

Something that I really like about her that I didn’t get from Tesoro is that she talks about her past and the mundane of her day-to-day. She sent me a picture of her grocery cart the day before yesterday! I loved those things. She’s sweet, highly competent, kind and definitely incredibly attractive.

The long game.