Weekend = lots of talking, ditching your recital

I had kickball on Friday and was the only one dressed up. I guess our costumes were moved to next Friday and it was in the app, but I honestly didn’t see it when I RSVP’ed. I took the construction paper sun dome off and my teammates asked me if I wanted baby wipes for the yellow paint and I said, “I’m almost 50-years-old and don’t care.” We played well, and although I was exhausted, I did go to the bar and played a little flip cup. When I was in college we played beer pong and flipped quarters into cups, so I’m just learning flip cup.

I really like one of the Nurses on our team. He’s so approachable and funny. He had on booty shorts and was drinking really heavily because his husband, who is a PA, was driving. The Nurse was dancing and getting wild. The other nurse on our team, who I have just gotten closer with since last week, and he started spanking each other. Then he started talking about breasts and I was really glad to be in a sports bra. It’s just a weird and common gay man thing: many of them love and are obsessed with breasts. I was glad that mine were smashed down. The other nurse was saying that hers were too small. I left shortly after that.

I did the Saturday morning things and then drove to the foothills for an event. My favorite work partner–really my work husband–just had a baby. He’s gorgeous and really easy. I held him and we walked around and talked. I had brought coconut yogurt and the chocolate brownie flax muffins because his son is probably allergic to milk like he was as a young one, so his wife can’t have dairy. Their son isn’t gaining weight. I also brought pomegranate seeds mixed with berries. I kept those and sent the yogurt and muffins home with them. We only really talked about the baby.

I had a bit of time before my recital so I cooked and ate. I also had my neighbor come over and play with the irrigation settings so I could know how to use the fourth setting in the backyard which is my hose. I watered the areas that the irrigation doesn’t hit. I just don’t want water on my concrete patio. That’s wasteful and also ruins the concrete, so I’m going to get shade seeds from the hardware store and put those under the eaves near the patio and continue watering the grass under the shade of my neighbors’ Ponderosa Pine.

When I finally got to the art gallery and bar, they were rehearsing. They sounded great. The female vocalist was tall, gorgeous and had an incredible voice. I didn’t stay because I was drinking water, watching drunk people, realizing that I would have to be on a chair below the very crowded stage and things were already running late. I wanted to walk my dogs, watch tv, drink more water and get lots of sleep. I have had a ton of sinus pressure and some headaches lately too, so I wasn’t feeling perfectly well. I emailed our teacher in the car and went home and had a perfectly lovely night. I have to rally a lot of energy to talk in groups, so I just didn’t want to be there anymore because I’ve been talking A LOT lately.

I lift weights today and will get my weekly adjustment. Then I have an end of summer party with the organization that I volunteer with outdoors. I have even taken my son on one of the events wherein we hand watered native plants in an open space area. I love these folks. It will be fun. I’ll text the climber when I leave that event to see if she needs a ride home from the airport.

On Friday the nice guy rolled up with the climber and we drove in. The nice guy wants to go back to school. I didn’t realize that he only had a Bachelor’s degree and he wants to either become a mental health provider or write curriculum for schools. I gave him advice. I drove them and another colleague to a strip mall to pick up lunches, and paid for the other’s colleague’s lunch because I really like her. She’s so sweet. The climber and I reminisced about last fall and getting bear hugged and picked up together because Friday was an anniversary date of our site staying open. That could be a long, long series of blog entries, but many things are so scandalous and specific that it would alter this incognito writing that I’ve always done. Anyway, the nice guy said, “Picked you both up?” And the climber said, “Yes.” And he said, “You’re both petite so that makes sense.” I told him that people guess my weight under by 15-pounds usually and the climber quickly said, “Muscle weighs more.” The car got quiet. (//.//w/.//)

We drove her to the airport so she could fly out. She’s climbing and I’m sure paragliding all weekend with one of her partners who’s been in her life for 5-6 years. I’m sure that he is incredibly athletic and strong. I’m glad that she has him. I know that he flies here to see her during the year too. She thanked me for the ride and I gave her a hug and could feel her hands on the small of my back. So nice. I’ll either see her tonight, if she’ll let me pick her up from the airport, or I’ll see her tomorrow morning.

Next Monday will be very interesting. The nice guy and the Realtor and I are going to karaoke. I’ll invite Brooklyn too, and will text her about it tomorrow to give her a week’s notice. She and I sang for many years together in large groups, and she said she’d like to meet the nice guy. It’s going to be interesting to be with the Realtor in this group. She is a completely different person in a group. However, I told her that I’d cycle with her anytime, take her up a high peak, and that she’d love ______ and that she should come to karaoke with us. Now, with the exception of a birthday dinner in January, I’ve kept all my promises. I’ll bet that karaoke feels way different than the birthday dinner!

Reflections

I like my cousin’s fiancé. Sure he makes fun of people, has lots of tools, and guns, but he loves her, and they’re actually good together. Before I was with the CEO, she had been dating him around a year, I think. She is what you might call a serial monogamist, which I guess is ok to say because “Ally McBeal” was a bunch of straight girls in NY, right? After 10 or 11 years, why not get married, right?

I’m not. I just read about when my best friend from work was here and we were climbing mountains and partying hard. She was dancing with this one girl at our club, and the girl’s best friend started dancing with me and then she kissed me. Well, if you kiss me, for some reason, I want to get more aggressive. I had pushed her up against a cattle tank full of beers eventually. We went on a legitimate date a few weeks later. After sushi and a long walk, I went to where she was parked and leaned in and she said, “We’ll have plenty of other chances.” I never kissed her again. Hmm…

I think I’m back in that cattle tank stage. My problem has been that I don’t say no to exclusive. Nancy Reagan would have a stern talkin’ to me. I can come out here as someone who says, “No.”

People, especially those who I have known who are genetically women, are super complex. I want to get to know lots of people on individual dates. It sucks a little to be introverted, because I really struggle with anxiety in groups. I get quiet, and then recently one of my Bosses called me “exclusive.” Or I crack lots of jokes due to tension. I am very funny, so that is probably ok, but if it’s noisy I can’t do that, and then I’m too direct due to discomfort.

Therefore, lots of different women in 1-1 settings.

No swiping. Do Gen X-ers like to swipe? Also, because I only select women-seeking-women, I’ll see women who I know. Small pond. Also, I find it distasteful for some reason to swipe a person away based on something static like a picture. Case in point is that my ex-wife is a real redhead and has blond eyebrows so some pictures are not great due to lighting. She is one of the most striking women in person that people have ever seen. I can’t count the number of people who have said, “She is so beautiful.” Really. Truly. Additionally, it’s fake like social media is. I have maybe taken three pictures of my son being an asshole or raging, but I haven’t posted them! I’ve sent them to a few people. Are folks with profiles on dating sites going to post themselves half a bottle of vodka into Thanksgiving? Not likely. Not probable. Finally, my experiences on Chemistry and OK, Cupid yielded the cowgirl (two weekends–lesbian one night stand) and the flute player (gamey / hot and cold). When I say that to friends, they say, “Sure that was before 2010! It’s changed so much.” I’m not arguing, but I have three reasons for my hard pass.

I’m going bowling this afternoon. I am going to beat one of my Bosses. He beat me at pool about two-weeks ago, so I need to beat him. If I can’t we’re going to the bar very soon and I will beat him at 301. His ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend are bowling with us. I have to put my road bike in the back of my SUV now, and go over to the place that rebuilt my engine brackets. My oil light is coming on and it’s also idling like shit sometimes in the cold because the box over the catalytic converter is shaking to hell. The alley is close, so I can combo walk / bike there.

I met my goal. This week mostly off from work was neither sad or trying. I expressed emotion, connected so much with my cousin and her kids, and went out to dinner for diner food with my son last night. Now, bring on the cattle tanks.