Tag Archives: Zodiac

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Establishing

It’s so odd. I feel like I have been gearing up to get ready for Scorpio.

Saturday night, I went into her house and the monstera plant was taking over the ceiling all the way through the ceiling fan. There are art–some of which she’s made–cards, figures, and literally everything that you’d expect to find in the Folk Art Museum in Santa Fe (I’m making a mental note right now that she and I should go there in March.).

Scorpio looked beautiful and welcomed me into her home and said that she’d get a fire going shortly.

Then she showed me a floor pillow that she had sowed and made for floor time.

Superficially, she’s just like my ex-wife.

Then there are 3-million points of contrast.

Scorpio had two of her own kids and cares deeply about them.

Scorpio has worked in the billing and accounting division of her company for 10-years.

Scorpio is open in a slow, deliberate and measured way.

Scorpio is bold. For example, she left to be out west and travelled the coast for 5-weeks solo. She’s unafraid to talk about anything openly and directly.

SHE ACCEPTS APOLOGIES.

We talked through our experiences with polyamory.

We both have a disdain for DADT and we’ve both had those experiences. She talked to me directly about my level of bisexuality and I explained to her that I don’t think that I would have ever engaged in male experience if I wasn’t a surviving child. I felt like I had to be “normal” and have kids and be straight. I think that she got that. I said again that I’m fine with her having a boyfriend. Scorpio made a face like she was going to throw up, so I don’t think that it will be very soon. I told her about one of my matches from Seattle and how I’m hoping that because I’m so busy next weekend that she and I will have some trouble connecting–I don’t think that my timing is right for Seattle.

Additionally, I can’t establish concurrent relationships. Scorpio’s open heartedness that she has translates into her polyamory too–she won’t have rules or boundaries with exploration of others. So I told her that historically what’s been difficult for me is my own head when my girlfriend has a date and I’m at home. Scorpio said, “You think about how much fun they’re having,” and I said, “To be honest, I obsess about hot sex that I’m not having.” Scorpio explained that being poly often means getting good with your own time and taking care of yourself.

I certainly am good at that now. I have practiced this approach for nearly 4-years at this point. I have fitness routines that I always do. I read all of the time. I socialize although I don’t drink out and about. I am a Captain of a Bowling team. I’m so busy with my friends that I couldn’t even carve out overnight time with Scorpio this upcoming weekend because she’s going to a concert on Friday and I have dinner plans with an old friend on Saturday.

I’m looking forward to having dinner with her here at my house on Thursday. She said that she’s going to find a cute vegan ice cream shop for us to go to after dinner. I’m sad about not having an overnight this weekend. We have a wonderful physical connection. I’ve been missing that for about 5-years. Scorpio was worth all the wait. I’m ready to establish a good foundation for our relationship.

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Attraction

My soon-to-be 37-year-old friend who I met on HER came over last night for dinner. The night became a long night of reciprocal conversation.

I was up until nearly midnight, which is unusual for me. Although I have no issue with someone having wine and then driving home hours later, I do not do that anymore. That being said, I love having a grown up over here to have dinner with me and then being able to open a bottle of wine and have a couple of glasses during the hangout.

I didn’t drink at all for over ten-months.

I drink at home. I also drank at my next door neighbor’s house on Thanksgiving Day. I never drink alone.

I had my intake with my matchmaker to build rapport and start getting my specs out in the world on Wednesday. I told her, “I really don’t drink. I have no issue with partners who do. If we were leaving a restaurant and she was I would say, “Babe, you’ve had a glass of wine, so let me drive us back to our hotel.”

I think that like my dating, I have a new relationship with alcohol as well.

I told my friend, who we can call Michigan (MI) about some of the experiences that I have been having on the apps. She was blown away. She has IRL dates via the apps. We both landed on my age being the factor, so I look like a good mark for crypto scammers, cash-paid romance scammers, and gift card for payment texters. Sad, but likely true. Not one penny has ever left my pocket.

She felt so badly for me and kept saying that she is crossing her fingers for my finding a travel partner.

MI is a Pisces.

My ex-husband was one, the love of my life is one, and the woman who had a to get a new liver and moved out of my state were all Pisces. The latter shared my ex-husband’s date of birth. They were five-years apart to the day.

Obvi, I have a thing. MI and I just legit flow. She told me about her work with adults with developmental disabilities, with people who had spinal cord injuries, and her current work with grants and studies that take place in the Emergency Department. She’s going to start a Master’s of Clinical Science in the next year or two.

We also talked about sex, relationships, our childhoods and our goals. She looked at my book sample as well. That will be bound next week so I’ll have 250 copies of it, which is exciting. Long story short, we split half of a bottle of wine (two glasses apiece over 5-hours), had a good dinner together. We just vibe and flow. I love Pisces.

I was talking to her about the matchmaker and how bad it made me feel to tell her that I didn’t want matches who were genetically male, and that I described my body as athletic, and fit/toned. There was something about admitting those things aloud that made me feel shallow. My matchmaker said that we’re not used to describing our bodies anyway and it can make us feel awkward.

While MI and I were talking I realized again that she would be a good sexual partner for me if I was attracted to her. And I’m just not, which also makes me feel shallow. I think it’s only because she’s quite overweight currently. Arg. I also don’t love that I am 14-and-a-half-years older than she is.

Chemistry can’t be faked. And physical attraction is paramount. I can’t imagine taking off her clothes and last night I realized that I love her. We have a deep, platonic connection.

How do you decide who you’re going to date?

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay