I told the psychologist who I pay yesterday that I am doing all the “right things:” biking, lifting, working in the yard as much as possible, working part-time, seeing my friends, and today I’m going to my cousin’s house so my son can play with his second cousins. She told me chop wood, carry water is the right approach, and it is. But, do you know what is even more important? Getting good sleep! I feel like a million bucks right now. I also have a good distraction in that woman who I don’t see really, but who I got a good charge out of hanging with last Wednesday.
I want to be clear, because my only gay friend who I see often gave me a lot of shit about her. I am not a cheater, and hope that a couple of years from now I am at their commitment ceremony. However, I’m around if they decide that they don’t have that future thing. I’m doing my thing an waiting for a girl like her who catches my interest, because I’m ready to be vulnerable and put it out there to try again. Like John Cusack says in “Say Anything,” “I want to get hurt.” I’m not a masochist, but I do believe that you have to put it all out there to really keep a lasting love. I’m willing.