I am really hoping that this year I am able to get some distance between my heart and my ex.  It’s not that I ever contact her, because I just don’t.  I actually also wrote her a letter about where I am, as she has been incessantly contacting me and I’d prefer that it would abate.  She had told me to tell her when I move on because she told me that she only wanted to hear that from me.  Dating for a couple of weeks was a mere distraction, and in the letter that I wrote her, I told her that I had been distracting myself for a couple of weeks and stopped.  She knows me so very well and is a mature person, so she will understand the subtext, and I’m sure that it will piss her off to high hell.  However, I had to just see if this girl and I were compatible.  However after two weeks, she presents as clingy when her roommate is out of town, so I’m not sure if I can even fully tend to a friendship with her.  I think that she is just young.

My ex is not young.  We are exactly the same age.  Our birthdays are just three weeks apart, and being with her did not involve any explanations.  It was easy to talk and interact with her.  I just wish that she would have been less stressed so she would have treated me better, but I guess that is not in the cards for us.  I’m at this stage where I am vulnerable though, so I told her that I knew that she had contacted me and that I had not contacted her back until now, but it was because it’s just very hard for me to engage with her.  I just wish that we would have been able to work out the nuts and bolts of our relationship in counseling.  However, I suppose that she and I were not meant to be in a longterm relationship for some reason.  I would like to build one, but don’t want to sacrifice what I believe is treating others right and building a future or do I want to be with a dreamer who plays all day to escape dealing with real issues.

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