I get accused of wanting perfection, but that’s not it at all. I want a girl to want to be with me, and when we make a plan, which I look forward to more than most because my life is busy, I just want it to come to fruition. I would like stable next time around. I would also like consistent. I’m more than willing to work on my issues of rejection so I can project a healthier and more whole me out into the universe. I do believe that you get what you put out. I have always been consistent. I have never broken a date.
When I commuted in state (80-miles when it was roundtrip) and was still in two grad programs and doing night work for schools, I made a couple of snafus, as did I once this August when I couldn’t bike on Sunday because I had to read at church, but I would never change plans because I didn’t feel like it or I had some half-assed emotional response that I was unwilling to share. That’s not me.
I have also been really good about accepting my role in conflicts. I think what will be a stumbling block for me next spring will be that I need to be careful with casual and sending the wrong message. I need to practice saying, “I like you. Let’s just see each other when it makes sense, and not too frequently, because it’s really good to miss each other. In terms of future, let’s see what develops.” I can do that. I’m not ready yet, but in a few months maybe, and then I will see HER.