I haven’t written in awhile. I guess that when I don’t, my mind works stuff out anyway because I have been dreaming about girls for a few weeks. They are in those shadowy, sprawling ways wherein one girl can turn into another, but I do know that because I’m just increasing my space away and getting stronger it mixes up all my relationship history in my head. I don’t really believe the tired idiomatic phrase that time heals all wounds, but when it comes to love and lost love, it is probably the most helpful. Additionally, I would never really run into her anyway, so I just have to work it all out silently and without seeing her. I think that it’s best.
I would really like to have some companionship, but I don’t think until the beginning of June is it even realistic. I have to finish up all these clinical hours, get my 30-pages through IRB, make observations every Wednesday and conduct and record my interviews, and then find another placement for next fall and spring. Not the stuff of free time.
I still make sure that my son sees friends and plays sports though, so I don’t feel like anything is really lacking or not being met on the home front. He kicked some ass on the basketball court yesterday too. He also had an outdoor and one indoor playdate and I connected with an old friend.
I did something to my lower abdomen. It probably was strained last Saturday in Boot Camp. I’ll monitor it. Last week was really poor on the workout scene, which tends to affect my mood. I need to step it up this week. I plan on starting that midday tomorrow because one of the Rec Centers is open and then I can stay on track. I’ll see if my friend wants to join me. At this particular location–a VERY trendy spot–there are some hot-ass straight girls to admire too, so that’s always fun. Guess we will head to church. I hope today is a good start to a new week.
Its funny how we find what we want when we give up looking for it many times.
Everyone says that… I believe that it will happen when it’s meant to and the proverbial “she” will want to work with me and not against me.
When we are not looking, we end up just being ourselves and not what we think others want to see – when people see you being you, it’s far more alluring in general terms. I hope that the universe surprises you with an early answer.
I’ve done both… I have met girls when not looking at all, and sought them out and took them home. Right now, I’m working my ass off and just being when I can. Thanks for reading. I wish you the very best as well.