It’s so odd. I feel like I have been gearing up to get ready for Scorpio.

Saturday night, I went into her house and the monstera plant was taking over the ceiling all the way through the ceiling fan. There are art–some of which she’s made–cards, figures, and literally everything that you’d expect to find in the Folk Art Museum in Santa Fe (I’m making a mental note right now that she and I should go there in March.).

Scorpio looked beautiful and welcomed me into her home and said that she’d get a fire going shortly.

Then she showed me a floor pillow that she had sowed and made for floor time.

Superficially, she’s just like my ex-wife.

Then there are 3-million points of contrast.

Scorpio had two of her own kids and cares deeply about them.

Scorpio has worked in the billing and accounting division of her company for 10-years.

Scorpio is open in a slow, deliberate and measured way.

Scorpio is bold. For example, she left to be out west and travelled the coast for 5-weeks solo. She’s unafraid to talk about anything openly and directly.

SHE ACCEPTS APOLOGIES.

We talked through our experiences with polyamory.

We both have a disdain for DADT and we’ve both had those experiences. She talked to me directly about my level of bisexuality and I explained to her that I don’t think that I would have ever engaged in male experience if I wasn’t a surviving child. I felt like I had to be “normal” and have kids and be straight. I think that she got that. I said again that I’m fine with her having a boyfriend. Scorpio made a face like she was going to throw up, so I don’t think that it will be very soon. I told her about one of my matches from Seattle and how I’m hoping that because I’m so busy next weekend that she and I will have some trouble connecting–I don’t think that my timing is right for Seattle.

Additionally, I can’t establish concurrent relationships. Scorpio’s open heartedness that she has translates into her polyamory too–she won’t have rules or boundaries with exploration of others. So I told her that historically what’s been difficult for me is my own head when my girlfriend has a date and I’m at home. Scorpio said, “You think about how much fun they’re having,” and I said, “To be honest, I obsess about hot sex that I’m not having.” Scorpio explained that being poly often means getting good with your own time and taking care of yourself.

I certainly am good at that now. I have practiced this approach for nearly 4-years at this point. I have fitness routines that I always do. I read all of the time. I socialize although I don’t drink out and about. I am a Captain of a Bowling team. I’m so busy with my friends that I couldn’t even carve out overnight time with Scorpio this upcoming weekend because she’s going to a concert on Friday and I have dinner plans with an old friend on Saturday.

I’m looking forward to having dinner with her here at my house on Thursday. She said that she’s going to find a cute vegan ice cream shop for us to go to after dinner. I’m sad about not having an overnight this weekend. We have a wonderful physical connection. I’ve been missing that for about 5-years. Scorpio was worth all the wait. I’m ready to establish a good foundation for our relationship.