Waiting game

If you say that you are going to consider something, by now, it should mostly be considered.  It’s been 10-days, and she thinks that she can tell me that taking what I wrote paragraph by paragraph is a new way, but it’s really a new way to push and pull.  That’s what it is, because frankly, it’s a new approach to keeping me in the queue.  The thing is that if some girl touched me, I’d shrink away, so it’s not that it matters in the grand scheme of things, but it does matter in terms of my feeling like I’m the one she wants.  I worry that I’m not.

I should have taken a picture yesterday.  We had a somewhat harrowing ride up a windy Mt road–at least it was paved–complete with good views, but tons of drop-offs and when my son’s Godmother and my buddy from work got out, we had trouble standing.  We were at the trailhead!  It was also freezing and I didn’t have either set of gloves and couldn’t keep my hat on to save my life.  We took the same windblown ride back down, found a park in a nearby town and did just over 8-miles of a hike.  If I dodge another Mt Biker this summer though, it shall be too soon.  I think that I’ll need to order new boots though, as I did something terrible to my left toe.  If I feel around in the footbeds today in my old, tried and true boots, and they feel compressed, I’ll order some today and wear one pair of socks on Wednesday.

We didn’t go to the top of the little peak.  We were tired and the day was odd and didn’t entail what we’d planned.  I swear if we summit on Wednesday, a snowstorm is going to come rolling through rather quickly.  It was pretty and good girl bonding.  They both told me to proceed with caution.  Here was one of our views:

I don’t want to be cautious.  I just want to know if we can go to couple’s counseling and if she thinks that we could get married NEXT summer.  That’s it.  I’m done messing around.  I don’t want to live alone anymore, as 5-years have yielded tons of growth and transformation.  Now, I am really ready for a partner, and would love to raise two to three kids.

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