I still don’t understand where she is.  She chats me last week and says that she wants what I want too, eg. being held, co-parenting, and not feeling like she is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, and now the difference between she and I is that she doesn’t really have to have a partner.  Well, make up your mind.  You sure have about not going to counseling, but you still want the cake to consume don’t you?

She tells me that she misses our sex life and that we should try that as an approach.  I told her that I have had a loveless commitment, and I’ve had a fuck buddy, and now I’m seeking partner.  I guess that we have a lot to talk about today.  Again, she plays the role of seductress very well, but it feels like she has to keep one foot out.  I’m worth much more than that.  She said that we can’t make a relationship work, but doesn’t want to be analyzed or does she have time to go to counseling.  Given that she neglected to see the woman who she sees during her father’s last month, death, and disorganized funeral, I do know that the latter is true.  To be true to myself and respect myself, I can say what I want in just over four hours.

1. I want to share my daily life with someone
2. I want to wake up next to her and go to bed next to her more nights than not
3. I want a family and the possibility to have more children
4. I want to talk about things before they become problematic and evolve into bad patterns
5. I want someone who even after some time, we still have trouble taking our hands off of each other