So, I knew that we were having dinner together on Friday, but I didn’t know that she would be staying. I took my son out of practice, as it was running over, and went to our house–she had already arrived. She started making out with me in my garage. Ok, then. Then my son and I helped her get all of her bags in the house. She said, “It’s completely presumptuous, but I am staying the night tonight. I have to work a little and don’t want to drive home.” I said, “I think that is a wonderful idea.”
No shaving, no landscaping, sleepy, and after dinner and putting my son to bed, we are both sitting on my couch. She had to work a little, so I straightened up my kitchen and took my dog for a walk. I couldn’t believe that were going to wake up together. When she was done with work, she read some of it to me, and I liked that a lot. We went to the kitchen to get drinks and she kissed me and after we pulled away she said, “I don’t think we should have sex tonight,” and because I have wanted the first time to be special and we don’t really know all of our dynamics yet, I said, “I am in complete agreement.”
She cuddles a lot all night–I’m not used to sleeping close like that all night. When we first got into bed, she did start kissing me pretty intensely and then she had her hands on the fronts of my shoulders, so I felt like I had to say, “You can touch me.” When she did she gasped and said, “You have incredible tits.” I laughed. That settled why I was wondering why she wasn’t feeling me up.
It has been a really long time since she has been in a relationship with a woman, and the one that she did have which lasted a year sounds like one in which she would just be moved sexually by this woman and wind up in her bed with her. She had a non-serious bf at the time, and the other girl did too, but eventually went exclusive with him, and that result broke my artist’s heart a little. I guess, from what I can gather, she is just ready to be in relationship with a woman.
In this case, and I told her this, I just hope that being with a girl works for her. It’s different. It’s emotionally complex and involves a level of intensity that seems unique. What she has gathered is that if we just go slow, that stuff will work itself out. I think more than that, it’s essential for me to give her space for reflection, and also just follow her lead with anything physical.
I think that’s good. I have slept with women way too soon almost every time. I told her before we all left the house that what seems to be building is a solid friendship. She said, “We are.” I actually think that it’s healthy. Now, I do honestly want to take off every stitch of her clothing and feel her skin on mine, and kiss every part of her that is not covered by a bathing suit until I can do more, but I won’t. I don’t really want to either; although, I fantasize about it. I want to wait until it’s not only special, but it’s right.