I am that way because I am highly intuitive and know people prior to them showing me their hands, or even if they don’t want me to know them very well, I still have an accurate sense of who people are and how they will move through situations. In addition to a good gut-level sense of what is what, I’m also an observer and save questions for times that I really need to ask them or want to get the focus off of me. She and I are highly unlikely to ever be together again because I tripped some serious shit in her.
She’ll come down for dinner at the end of next month, and again, I will listen, but I will be shocked if I even get to explain why I thought that we should go to counseling. Oh well, there really isn’t a whole hell of a lot that I can do. I do think that she’d like a closer friendship than I will give her, but that’s not going to happen because someday I really do want a partner and keeping her that close is the classic lesbian pattern with your ex providing everything. However, it is not the whole package and given that I took 11-years off from it, I will be ready for it when I am ready to date. I have best friends, and don’t want another one with the exception of what I really like about being in a relationship!
Anyway, I was thinking too, when I was listening to a song by Vertical Horizon how interesting it is that we assign qualities of a deity to our lovers. She does not, in fact, know what I’m thinking. I don’t think she wonders about it much either. She is just paralyzed by the fact that I could be lost to her. I won’t do that. I will stay in her life, but not at the expense of me. Warm and honest, and the truth serum is my approach. I don’t know if we will shift back into each other’s arms ever again, but I would like to have what I always found to be funny, and that is a “healthy breakup.”