I had a wonderful day Saturday completing the summit with the woman with whom I had an emotional affair. She and I talked incredibly easy regardless of elevation gain, and she is the most suited climbing companion that I’ve ever had. That’s sad. We talked through the pointed flirtation at several intervals after the summit. I held her twice when I dropped her off and told her that I wouldn’t mess with her and that she needs to get her shit together. We are super compatible. We talk, joke, laugh, are both inappropriate–especially in terms of our sense of humor, both love kids and working with them as our primary clients, we are both highly energetic, have good vocabularies and think that being outside and then following it up with a beers and a burger is one of the best things that there is. We talked more about the lack of us on the way back down. I told her that it didn’t matter how compatible we were, and if we made this–whatever-the-hell it is–into physical that it would not only be immoral, but it would wind up fucking both of us up big time and diminish the level of connection that we have and what could be.
Then, I came home and made a cool mountain album to put up on FB and got ready, because I was going to a wedding. It was the coolest wedding that I had ever attended as well. It’s not because the Governor officiated it, it was because it was short, sweet, simple, and outside the couple’s home with the block sectioned off so that street performers could perform and we could eat BBQ and drink microbrews. There were probably 300 people there. One of my best friends who is like a sister to me has a friend who is a talented artist. I had been to one of her art shows last year. I guess that she said to my friend, “Are you with ______ ?” and she said, “Don’t you think I would have told you if I started seeing a WOMAN? No, we have been friends for years.” She said, “Oh, well, I think she is really hot.” That was so flattering. She is magazine quality beautiful. She pulled me out to dance, which I hate, but she eventually let me off the hook.
We didn’t flirt overtly or out-of-control, but we had an intensity. One of my friends from high school who knows both the bride and groom as well asked me yesterday morning if this woman was in love with me. I told her flatly and easily, “No, but I am not sure who I will wind up actually dating next.” She texted more and eluded to the level of sexual chemistry that could be felt when we were sitting with each other. So, what am I going to do? I’m going to email her this morning. She has four boys. She is a talented artist. She has had pain in her past. She looks like the child of Jane Seymour and Audrey Hepburn, and it was highly flattering to have her express interest in me. It made yesterday very interesting too! At least I won’t skip any workouts anymore 😉
After my friend from the swings got out of church, she called me. We had a wonderful and good conversation. However, the breakup with her gf does not even approximate clean. They did an open relationship before ending their relationship, and the woman with whom she had the polyamorous connection is now pursuing her exclusively, but indirectly has shared that she will likely sleep with her ex for always. I haven’t been down that exact road, but I know that I am not cut out for open. I like stability in relationship and not wondering why I don’t give someone enough. I’m smart enough and have been in enough classes to understand that sexual experiences and intimacy vary for everyone, but when she said, “We will have to be different now,” I did tell her “I don’t think that is possible. You started off with only a sexual foundation and found each other seeking an open experience. Also, the intention that you put out in the universe was that you a wanted polyamorous connection. That was your intention. I don’t think that it can convert.”
The sad thing is that this girl wants to continue an intense relationship with her ex. My friend is done with her ex. For right now, I’m done thinking about my friend in any other way than that she needs good friends, who like my climbing partner from Saturday, does not need to be fucked with visa vi a potential love interest. She has a load of stuff to figure out completely independent of me. Her mother and mother’s bf loved me. I’m pretty good with parents in general, and it was nice to meet her mother finally and be part of their home. I am going to write a Thank You Note to send this am after I have woken up with my coffee.
I can’t believe the wrinkles that get thrown up. I kept saying that I would prefer not to date another mother if I didn’t have to. I get that you choose who you date. But, honestly being on the receiving end of that much attention from a completely beautiful woman was encouraging. I’m going to email her and I would like to bring her dinner one evening next week before I leave town for my bday. She doesn’t drink at all, which would probably be a good break for me too. I am very much looking forward to seeing what is there.