Who needs to fight?

I told her that I had my quota when she said that I would fight with her in the grocery store.  That’s honest too.  One, why the hell would you fight in the grocery store?  I love food, eating, walking, and she is someone who I love to talk to or simply just hang out with and do whatever.  I’m perverse at times, so I pointed out three different couples who were talking and sauntering about the grocery store.  Finally, as we neared the back of the store yesterday, there was a couple–two girls–who were visibly arguing and having lots of tension in the grocery store.  I wanted to pass them quickly, but she is pretty observant.  So, when I saw her see them, I made a plan.

We exited the aisle and I said, “Ok.  I do realize that was the only gay couple who we’ve seen today and they were fighting,” and then she does what she does.  Her head tilts back and she laughs hard.  It always makes a warm smile drift across my face and most of the time, I start laughing too, or I just hug her.  Then she pulled me to her, kissed me and said, “See?  People fight in the grocery store.”  I told her, “I don’t want to,” but as is the case with her, I had a huge smile across my face.

There is more.  We could have had conflict around my misunderstanding about evenings and dinners–it was something that just didn’t sit well with me earlier in the week–as she was busy all week and we couldn’t see each other easily or could we talk.  Instead, we went outside after 5 on Saturday when the boys were engaged in boy things, and she talked to me about what a team is, and what a new girlfriend is and how it’s always her desire for me to express my needs or just be honest with all of my feelings when I don’t want to do something or simply just can’t easily.  Also, as I guess she just is, she was nakedly vulnerable with me about her last two relationships and what she believes about independence.

So, as it turned out, I didn’t have to have, or even request a discussion.  We just organically talked about where we were with respect to our relationship, and what could be a compromise on seeing each other during the week when it works easily.  OK.  Wow.  I’m sure that some of you have read “discussions” that I had with my ex.  Or should I say my trying to bring things up, and then feeling like I was in a duck and cover drill?

Preparing for fallout (with my ex)

Preparing for fallout (with my ex)

I don’t think it’s realistic for me to try to avoid to make comparisons based on contrast.  She is so different than anyone who I’ve been with over the last four years.  She is easy and genuine, and an enviable adult when it comes to communication.  It think that it’s safe to say that I love this woman, and she has admitted that she thinks that she loves me too.  I can’t wait until there is one of those right moments and I can just say, “I love you.”  Because, I do, and I think that I have met my match.

We wound up making out in her bathroom about three times yesterday.  I was helping her with her hair.  We got really physical.  She is the most affectionate of anyone who I have been with, and that combined with how attracted I am to her makes it difficult not to go further than we should yet.  I love her eyes, mouth, and body.  It’s a wicked attraction, and I’ll admit that I have never been this comfortable with a woman either.  We can talk, we can sit, we can make meals together, or we can have conversations that are rooted in compromise.  I think all of these things make it safe to say that I’m going to be in love for the first time with someone with whom I could make something work.

My Horizon

My Horizon

4 thoughts on “Who needs to fight?

  1. Hello there,
    I didn’t realize it was possible to invite someone to read something I wrote on here. Thanks for the invitation Tom Boy to read this. I will go in the kitchen and come back & read this and enjoy. Thanks for thinking of me.
    Also, how can I invite you to read one of my posts?
    Could you tell me?

    Paulette Motzko

    • TomBoy says:

      Yes, I set my blog to private–meaning that you’re one of the few people who can read anything. I invited around 15 people or so, just because they still read these–but I’m thinking that I may just shut this one down to myself being the only user. I’m a slow mover in general, so I’ll think on that decision until the end of the month. I think that I may keep it private. I wrote mostly over the course of 2012 as therapy for my last relationship.

      So, settings of your blog can be altered in “Users” which is in your dashboard. You can also just set it to “Private” in “Settings” and then invite people based on their email addresses or their usernames.

  2. Well after reading this I will say I am happy you found someone you feel close to.
    Why did you want me to read it?
    Have you let your girl friend read it?
    I am not sure she would want details about your intimate relationship aired for the world to read?? Did you ask her?

    At any rate, thanks for asking me to read this and I hope you two have create years of happiness and wonderful memories together.

    • TomBoy says:

      Well, the way I see these things is that others read them and have no idea who I am. I have 188 followers, but none of them know who I am or where I live. I have written since 2008 in blogs, but for a variety of reasons have shut them down. They are diaries, but I set this one to private with the exception of a few followers because I think that I may keep it set to diary. I don’t know yet.

      She and I have this running competition that she will find my blog, and so I told her that I shut it down probably for about a month, and she said, “Don’t worry, it’s only a matter of time.” She is an actual writer though and has written a memoir, so I think that her toleration for my details would be different given that they are confidential because no one I know reads me. I hope that these aspects of my life have that “Everyman’s” quality.

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