Tag Archives: Mental Health

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Connection

On Saturday, we were led in a walking mediation through the forest to a large labyrinth while our leader hit a hand drum in unison with the group members’ footfalls.

Incidentally, I was married in a different labyrinth in 2014.

This one covered about half the length of a football field and had soft sand throughout it.

I took my shoes off near a fallen tree and Scorpio and I noticed at the same time red ants all over it. We both moved our shoes.

Everyone walked the labyrinth until we stopped and sat. My bare feet felt so good in the warm sand.

I sat with my legs crossed as best as I can with my injuries to my back and missing the cartilage in my left knee.

Our guide led us through a walk to water wherein ourselves, our child, and our future selves played with other children from our group and made connection with the present moment. Toward the end we acknowledged our future forms. During the time in which she encouraged us to play with other children in our minds, the wind blew across all of us. (It felt as if she’d called in the wind.)

Our other guide had five quartz sound bowls and she walked the labyrinth slowly striking them after the mediation had been completed. The sound traveled through the circle and through our bodies. We all heard hummingbirds moving through the circle with the sound.

I’m not sure how long this mediation was. Time wasn’t important. I didn’t take pictures because I didn’t have my cell phone. In fact, I didn’t check it very much at all for most of the four days. This mediation and sound bowl healing connected me more to Scorpio and ensured that I had belonging with her friends.

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Psilocybin

I’ve been dosing psilocybin for 7-months. You can have the drug and use it in 7 states. It’s been being studied actively by the Food and Drug Administration since 2023.

I think that ever since the documentary about mushrooms became wildly popular, folks have been given pause regarding using it to change their brains. I’ve been taking non-psychoactive mushrooms since 2012. I was recommended a TED talk by an employee at a grocery store and wanted to strengthen my immune system overall.

I’ve not had an ounce of alcohol since 12/30/24. When I started micro dosing, I didn’t want anything to be interfering with my serotonin production. Thus, I quit drinking at the end of 2024. A couple of nights ago I was thinking about a glass of Red Zinfandel and my stomach felt like it was on fire. I don’t miss alcohol. I was definitely what you’d consider a consistent beer drinker prior to this year, and La Croix is a great substitute for it.

I suppose that I will occasionally drink again. I don’t want to right now. Maybe after February 1st 2026. I think that I’ll be an occasion-only person.

I smoked some pot for a few years. I had a horrific experience in a bathtub wherein I didn’t think that would my brain would ever rebound, so I’ve never touched it again. I know that despite the genetic modifications, it makes me beyond paranoid. I have no desire for it.

The same thing is true with cigarettes. My Mom had me take a drag off hers when I asked when I was 4 and I threw up on the floor, so I have never been a smoker.

I didn’t want to anxiously ruminate on things that happened at work or when the natural progression of friendships end. I started psilocybin.

I can tell you that I’m way less in my head than I’ve ever been. I can tell you that I don’t experience very much anxiety at all. I also have been able to grow with others having tough conversations wherein I need to be flexible and change.

I don’t know what generic psilocybin the FDA will approve. I don’t know what big pharma will package. I can tell you that each strain interacts with people differently, and I am reasonably confident the generic drug will be dilute, but will have some psychiatric benefit for most people. There are many different strains and geneticists study all species.

I think that I’ll have permanent lasting changes in my brain by the middle of next winter. I don’t see myself as needing to micro dose long term. I’ve been grateful for the impact that psilocybin has had in my life.