Solo Vacations

I was low energy this week and moody AF. I took two Z strain last night and also drank one cup each of valerian and melatonin tea. I feel really well this morning and will be able to to attack work.

When I was married, she and I became strangers rather quickly. It’s shocking to me that we stayed together as long as we did. It certainly wasn’t related to complacency. We fought like a mf.

I don’t mind fighting honestly. In fact, in my experience, it shifts things in your relationship and often, some changes accompany conflict.

Scorpio and I have been able to address an undercurrent that we have. I don’t need to revisit it; however, because it’s come up in February and in April, she may need to do so.

I’m sexually motivated. In fact, it’s been rare for me to have a romantic partner who is as sexually motivated as I am. Historically, I have had two who were and they weren’t women with whom I had a real relationship.

One was basically a defensive liar. She led with a lie about her career when she met me and then pulled a Bill Clinton. She was, like me, sexually motivated. I interact with her superficially sometimes and have for about 2-years and she grosses me out because she has never apologized for letting me run with her lie. The point is that we had a good sexual connection.

Another was a woman, who lived out of state and had also lived in AK for awhile, whom I really had nothing in common with beside sex. She reminded me a of a cowgirl. And we had really good sex. We spent a couple of weekends together and she helped me to spring into dating again after my heart was broken at a level that I’ll probably never have again, which is good.

I’m still like I was in 2009 and 2012 and that is a Solo.

My priority is my relationship that I have with myself and times that I have let that falter has affected my romantic partners.

To address my primary relationship I have since the pandemic lifted taken Solo Vacations when the academic year ends. This year it’s later than it usually is–yet still before it becomes summer–and I had to schedule it around my BFF’s and GF’s schedules. Although, I am a Solo, I care deeply about my connections.

I’m looking forward to the majority of my work winding down this year and recalibrating. I like to put the most healthy version of myself into relationships.

I saw every kind of weather in Boston. I ate some of the best meals I have ever eaten. From my small sample size there and in Provincetown, the scene is pretty butch. Boston is the easiest city that I’ve been to to get around via foot, trains, and buses. It’s clean, well-kept, and safe too. The weather, however, is not for the feint of heart.

Day 1 – bright and sunny, lobster roll flight and shrimp roll, best non-alcoholic drink in the world: The Maine Root Ginger Beer, and 19, 323 steps

Day 2 – warm, breezy and almost fall like, toured Harvard, saw what could’ve been a scene from “The Boys on the Boat” on the river, and walked to the business school. Ate unique and delicious brussels sprouts, oysters which were as good as those I ate in Knoxville with different flavor and Faroe Island salmon with lovely fennel bulbs (I still don’t like parsnips :/), and walked 19,217 steps

Day 3 – the ferry ride to Provincetown right before a Nor’easter blew in. I walked all over Provincetown and some of the beaches (even to Pilgrims’ First Landing) in my raincoat, ate awesome food at The Lobster Pot and Tin Pan Alley and heard a great piano and saxophone act after dinner at the latter. This day had 25,445 steps.

Day 4 -raining sideways in Boston. Even with the umbrella that I bought, I was wishing for hiking pants. Wet denim was awful. I went back and forth from the New England Aquarium and ate at Chart House. My lowest step count at 12,567