If what you’ve done is a good predictor of your future behavior, I say to that, evolve with it too.  I was getting a little in over my head with my artist.  Now, it’s time to slow myself down a bit.  Monday is not that bad to wait to get together.  She is not champing at the bit to make weekend plans to me, and I would gather that because she had a long and difficult week at work–about which I know no details–that she just wants to connect and nest with her little boys.  I tried her on the phone last night and she texted that she was sorry that she missed my call and that she was making dinner.  She ended it with, “I miss you!”

We have plans for next Monday and Thursday.  So, I’m not going to obsess.  I’m going to revise Chapter 3 and I really need to run.  I may run after work tonight.  This weekend I should consult with a gardener about my lack of lawn in my backyard, since it is all cleaned up back there, and I should write like crazy.  I always have people who want to see me.  I’m not going to watch football at my cousin’s house on Sunday though, because I may not be gay.  I don’t like watching professional sports.

My workout partner said, “You lost yourself for a bit in this.  You sound solid now and MUCH better.”  Lesbian relationships are different, and mine aren’t in the Date 2: Move in, and Date 3: Get the donor ready, but they still match that intensity.  I realized that what I know of her, I could read in her book that she is editing.  It’s not the stuff of her.  Hell, I don’t even know her custody arrangement.

I know that when we are together it’s much better.  It’s connected.  It’s easy.  We have chemistry making meals together in the kitchen.  Our boys get along.  I feel really good when my head is on her left shoulder and I lay on my side and she puts her legs bent over mine and rubs my left arm.  We have magical kissing.  That’s all a pretty good start, but it’s a start.  Now it just has to flow, because you can’t bend the river.  It goes where it shall.