Getting here

We actually wound up talking every night following her leaving on Monday morning.  I haven’t done that before.  Ever.  With my ex, she would have truncated conversations with me while she drove home and most of the time shoot me a goodnight text, but if her day was particularly bad, she would say mean stuff to me or make accusations.  In other words, it was fine to NOT have  a goodnight call.

My girlfriend and I don’t run out of things to talk about, and we were like that when we were friends.  I reminded her that we have always been like that.   She would call to make some plans to see me, and we’d wind up talking for 45-minutes; although, she only had 15, and she would help me with things, and of course, as it is now, we’d laugh and laugh.

I’m leaning toward feeling like this path was the right timing, because we both learned some things that were non-negotiable from our last relationships.  We both want connection and passion.  We both want to be treated very well and cared for by the other.  The thing is that now that we both have it, we are given to long amounts of pause.  She wonders if she deserves it, and I wonder if I’ll do something stupid and she will just break up with me.  That’s what had happened with my ex, and that is what happened with the woman who I just dated.  I want us to talk.  I want to make compromises.

From what I can tell, the women with whom she has lived with have just kind of faded.  I think that this a common dynamic for the woman who is the nurturer.  I’m sure that it can happen in straight relationships too.  The thing is that I have this incredible amount of passion for her, I would not fade away from that, because I want to make love to her all of the time.  I get how that will shift a little when we live together, but I have wanted a deep connection like this one for so long.  I have also wanted to fall deeply in love.  I’m here now.

Flake with goals

I succumbed to having an internet reading done, and my number is 4, and because I’m not deep in knowledge of numerological stuff, I don’t know what it means exactly, but my chart does some shifting on Tuesday.  That would be the 22nd.  I do get that.

How the hell do you meet new girls?  I met the drunk as I have said, in a bar, and then oddly, I went to a church for the very first time in many years (And this church was brand-new to me.) two weeks after I told her that we would not only be totally broken up but cool contact for a year or more, and I prayed to meet new friends.  That is the truth.  I went to a BBQ on THAT Sunday and met my ex through an ex-colleague’s (who is hosting a Happy Hour on Monday) colleague.  My former colleague’s friend from work is best friends with my ex.  (It sure as hell is hard to blog incognito, but I am afraid that I would make clever names for everyone that would hurt anonymity.)

I texted my new couple friends who I adore yesterday.  It is her bday this weekend and she said that her girl was treating her like a princess.  That is very cool.  They met on a highway.  That is the truth as well.  They were both driving over the Continental Divide–one solo, and one with friends–and the solo one needed CDs.  She signaled the one with friends to roll down her window and said, “Do you have any music?”  The solo one was married at the time, and the other one was involved with a woman who would not be “out” and say that she was her girlfriend.  They took a year of hanging out when they both moved here before they ever dated.

My good friend met her girl at work because she womans a front desk.  Their story, which I only heard last Sunday was cute because you could spot my friend as being a lesbian from far, far away, but her girl is very feminine.  So, when my friend was not getting it, her now-girl said, “Well, my ex-wife and I used to go there for coffee.”  The rest is recent history.

My colleague and her partner who I have been hanging out with as of late met in HI.  They were working in different fields, but wound up talking a lot as when you live in that state, you are on, an island.  I don’t know which one of the islands, but they have a sweet story as well.

I don’t know how my friend that I have through another friend met her girlfriend, but my friend who was here for her bday and Christmas said that her girl is very sweet.  I can’t wait to hear their lovestory.  The both seem really mellow.

You can’t really tell by looking at me that I’m gay.  I have a feminine presentation, but I’m muscular and assertive and have a very deep voice, so when someone new hangs out with me, they usually know.  They don’t know superficially though, because I just present bold and for the most part, women can be outspoken, at least in this area of the country, without drawing too much attention to themselves.  I don’t have to come out to anyone though after they have hung out with me three or four times.

My straight colleagues tend toward loving jewelry or talking about men a lot when they are more extroverted and straightforward, and I think that makes it so no one would question their sexuality.  I’m pretty friendly with everyone at work, so they know who I am, and I’m sure that they would mention a girl to me if they thought that I’d hit it off with her…  So, again, how do you meet women?

I’ll keep putting my bad, single self out there of course.  I can do that starting tomorrow at my ex-colleague’s Happy Hour too, as she has a collection of friends who she has always thought that I would hit it off with, and it’s funny to me that when her colleague was interacting with me two years ago that she thought that my ex and I were exactly the same.  My colleague told her, “You can have my friend exchange emails with your best friend, but probably nothing is going to happen because my friend is really picky.”

And I am, and I was not attracted to my ex via picture when my ex-colleague sent me one.  I thought that she had great arms and was a little bit cute, but definitely did not look like my type and looked way older than she is because she is always in the sun–you can’t do that here, because you get leathery.  My ex is not that photogenic as it turns out.  However, in one picture that she sent me much later, I thought that she had beautiful eyes.  And she does, and has the best ass that I’ve ever seen.  She was my first short girl.  Then Peter Pan was super short, but that wound up grossing me out.  I like a little heft and do really enjoy height, because you get those great legs then.  Uh oh.  Getting shallow here…  Been a month since sex, so that tends to happen as a derivative.

When I met the drunk, I told my buddy who works a front desk, “I’m going out tonight, and if she’s cute, tall, smart and funny, she is going home with me!”  And my buddy said, “Good luck with that,” in a super snotty way.  She was pissed as all get out when the drunk walked in and met my gaze and gave me a great smile.  I like that too.  I have been with three women with incredible, light-up-your-whole-face, smiles.

So, I’m ready.  I plan on riding my number waves of four, but will do so sensibly and try at least to somewhat stick to my 20 daylight dates.  I hope.  I don’t delay sex very well.

Not bad at all

I got up very early this Sunday morning, but it’s not a big deal, because I don’t have too much to take care of anyway.  I laughed really hard again last night and had such a splendid time.  When I’m with people like I was last night, they really meet my needs.  My good friend and I had about an hour to talk before one of the new couples who I’ve just started hanging out with got to my house.  I cleaned up quite a bit too.  Then we ate a salad, linguini and clam sauce, and I made veggie sausage and peppers with the best seitan product that I think is available.  I seem to make friends who are vegetarian all the time.  In fact, when I was at the Post Office yesterday I was in line between two of them who talked to me at length.

We ate the dinner and then we played this game wherein you pass four pieces of paper in a set continually to your neighbor.  The game works best played in even numbers because you alternate writing a statement or drawing a picture.  So, I would write something like, “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush,” and pass it and the three blank papers clockwise, and you’d read that statement and then draw a visual representation of some birds probably, and a hand and bush.  After you were done with your art, you’d pass the pile again leaving only your drawing exposed so that the next person has to write a statement about the picture.  After four passes, you get your statement back and it’s funny to see the story evolution.  You eventually get back yours, and you have two pictures and one other statement if you play with four people like we did last night.  Then you can lay out sequentially the story.  We laughed really hard and the couple had brought their dog too, so mine was glad to have her girlfriend.  (They had hiked two weeks ago together.)

I’ll probably keep saying it…  I don’t desire a clone, but rather want a woman who is good to me.  Kindness is not that tough.  I don’t think that assuming the best really is either prior to living together for a longer period.  I do think that in time, little things start to bug someone.  I like the talk that I watched given by an anthropologist who said that you are able to get a significant dopamine hit many years into your relationship by varying your sexual routines or simply laughing a whole bunch.  I love the latter and definitely am looking for that in my next girlfriend too.  It is work to make me laugh, but it’s really easy for me because I can read people easily, so I can fairly quickly gauge what they will find funny.

I’m going out on NYE.  I want to find a good, smaller venue like I was in last year.  I can’t stomach the huge dance club and really don’t desire any Dickensian Lesbian Nightmares.  However, I can stomach meeting some nice girls to talk to and getting some numbers and the like.  I’m sure that there are funny nice ones all over the city.