No, that is bullshit, because I don’t believe it.  I just wanted a one word title this morning before I go into work and my night site.  People are dynamic, and as they learn, change, and have other influences which are external or result through connections with others, and they also change with respect to grieving the loss of another or a relationship.  I know myself well enough at this stage of my life that I just wait and think and act when I know that it’s right or it feels like the right thing to do.  When I was younger, I’d fly off the handle and simply react, but I’ve outgrown that.  This change is one of the main reasons that my ex and I wouldn’t work.  She says almost everything that pops into her head and is also hot-headed.  I don’t do that anymore and have learned to simply slow the hell down.

I woke up on Sunday with the drunk heavy in my mind.  After talking to a few people (close friends), I determined that maybe I should confront her in specific about her alcoholism.  Yesterday, this feeling turned to my being worried that something happened to her, so I just e-mailed her.  Turns out that she had her thyroid removed.  We have exchanged some e-mails and I certainly told her that I always worry about her health and what she does to her body that it doesn’t need.  I feel good about my contact too.  She had emailed me 8-mos ago and I only answered it now; although, I did so in a completely new thread.  She said, “I miss you both very, very much,” so this am, not wanting any mixed messages, I told her about my internship plans, my lack of desire to ever move, and that I am seeking a healthy relationship.  However, it is interesting to be back in touch with her.  We have known each other four-years this summer.  Wouldn’t that be great if I could get to this comfy level with my ex?!?  She left a bizarre message for my son on Monday morning.

I don’t believe in closure, but I’m tying up loose ends.  I’m living authentically and mindfully.  I work around the clock, but I still take time for me, connect to my son, and stay fit.  Now, over the next six-months, I want to meet some nice girls.  My cousin told me that I could delay sex about as well as I could grown horns when I was with her last night at Happy Hour.  I just want to actually know the next girl I date.  We shall see.  Or you will, as I nakedly chronicle my many years of dating here!