“Battle Scars”

Such an incredible video. I love these lyrics too.

Today, it is way less about ending a bad relationship for me. This post is more derivative of the cuts, bruises, swelling, and lacerations that are all over my body after my crazy race challenge yesterday. Here is to being able to walk around Pride!

Would be nice

I’m at a bad point with my celibacy.  I guess that at this stage of my life, I don’t do well at the 6-month mark.  Scrubs was supposed to call me this morning, and I guess that she’s not.  But it’s not like she is in a place to aid my celibacy, because she is still in love with her ex; although, she thinks that she can hang out with her with the understanding that she can do so carefully and try to avoid getting hurt.  That is a tall order.  But, speaking of length, that would not be a situation that I would want to touch with a ten-foot pole.

I dreamt about Bette last night.  It was blended with one of my best friends, because the setting was a dog rescue that was going to be partially a source for a documentary.  (One of my best friends is an animal activist and therapy dog trainer.)  We were working together with two of the dogs.  Awhile later, she kissed me and it felt really good, and while we kept kissing, I took off her clothes.  I can remember the way that everything felt.  It is actually funny the level of detail that I can remember about being with her, and I don’t have a charge anymore while I sit here and type, but it was very nice in the dream.  That portion of the dream ended when owners of the dogs who were there to show parts of the rescue had come to get their animals.  We had to quickly get dressed, but were both flushed, so it was easy to tell what had been going on.

Last night after most of a Day B–I didn’t finish because my partner had gotten there way before me and I want to have all of my energy for tomorrow–we made some dinner.  We stayed up very late last night laughing and talking.  It was so much fun.

I cannot believe that we ate an entire quiche lorraine last night

I cannot believe that we ate an entire quiche lorraine last night

I told her that when Scrubs was ready, that I would just fine with being her rebound sex, because I just would really like some sex.  I told her that I could say, “I know that we are not meant to be in a relationship together, but if you need some distance between your ex, I’m fine with giving you some intimate attention.”  I kept writing about and thinking that she just doesn’t seem consistent.  She resurfaces every once and awhile and this is really the only time that she has said that she was going to call and didn’t.  She knows that 5 is my typical start time too.  It could be that she got called in earlier or something, but I tend to think that she just forgot.  I’m sure that when you are trying to navigate things with your ex, you get kinda inconsistent.  I know that I did.  But, there is something else about her that I don’t understand, but gives me pause.  We shall see as we hang out.

I really don’t want to do anything with the Designer and her Partner.  That has layers of stuff that I would rather avoid.  I do wonder what their friends are like though.  Honestly, if it’s not an interesting time, with all the happenings this weekend, I will probably leave and go downtown and kick around.  I just need to get out and do things.  It’s not that I need to take some girl home, it’s that I would like to have some options of getting to know you stuff at some point.  Perhaps it is not meant to be very soon, and I’m honestly fine with that.

When I met Shane, we had that chemical attraction and then had the most stimulating conversation about digital diploma mills and technology’s effect on relationships.  It was an incredible conversation, and I still can’t believe that it happened in a bar.  I had one mission that night, which incidentally was four-years ago in five days, and that was that I wanted to have sex, so I took her to the train station and then we made out.  I said, “Do you really have to go home, ” and she said, “No, I can do something else,” and I said, “Like come to my house?”

But past does not necessarily have to be prelude.  Let’s say that I sleep with a woman on Sunday…  I think that I have dated enough to sleep with a different kind of girl than my last two super controlling gfs.  That is not the order of operations that I wanted to follow per se, because I do know what sleeping with girls who I don’t know has yielded.  But, if I apply the same logic to my being single, I do have to realize that there are probably some women who are single who have been so for some time out and about, and with this weekend being Pride weekend, they may be out in droves.


Back at the drapery store or ranch…  My workout partner and I went to run today, and there was a class for seniors going on in the weight room until 10:30.  We took a small walk outside and dodged running sprinklers as best as we could.  When we got home, she wasn’t hungry, but I was so I ate about six-servings of the quinoa salad that I had made with roasted asparagus and Italian green olives.  It was a little gross and I will definitely need to run later, but not until after the plumber fixes (hopefully) my floor drain issue.

Our dog had shredded our sun shades in the livingroom several months ago, and the assembly was a nightmare to get taken down, but my intern and my workout partner helped me.  Then I took the cushion whose top has become sun faded and the blind to the drapery store.  This turn is where the mundane gets interesting.

I was asking the guy sitting at the counter in the drapery store how my blinds could be fixed and he told me flatly, “They can’t.”  Nice social skills, pal.  I decided to talk to a white dog playing in the store instead of him, and the woman who I believe owns this store came to help me.  I believe that this was the same woman who had helped me when I recovered my favorite recliner.  She said that I wouldn’t want the old rails on it anyway, so why didn’t I just match the blinds as best as I could.  So, I started working with her instead.

Next this girl probably in her late twenties came into the store.  She was wearing a pink stripped button-down and jeans.  She was a cute, young blond with her hair up.  She decided to strike up a conversation with me, and wound up also helping me see if there was fabric that could be ordered to recover my chair cushion.

We talked about her dog and I showed her a picture of ours who had ruined the blind in question.  She talked about her bull terrier who was throwing her red ball and then retrieving it when it rolled away from her.  She liked my dog, and made pleasantries with me.  I thought that she was kinda looking at my legs, but figured it was because I looked like total shit in running shorts, a sports bra, and a stretched out tank from 1998.  Then she started talking to me about her ex gf.  Interesting.  Then about her current partner and raising this dog who is pretty anxious given that she was abandoned by her ex.  Finally, when I was leaving, she gave me a business card with her personal cell on it.  We have been texting.  Apparently, I’m going to a pool party and she has some “friends” for me Pride Sunday.  Could be an interesting weekend.