Scorpio sent a one word response to me as it pertained to my emailed request for her to stop writing mean comments on my Instagram and talk in person. It was “Nope.” And, really, that’s the same as “Bye.” The latter is the last thing that she said when I told her that I didn’t think that I could do this on Thursday night.

What cold last words to say to someone who loved you. And someone who still is in love with you.

My lesson gathered is to be entirely direct after a few dates with how I want to fight and how a partner wants to fight. I have reached my life quota of being yelled at as I round the corner to 52.

The name calling and hairpin trigger was too much too.

I think that I used to have a bad temper. Now, I can get stern and that approach is part of my work with clients when I need to set an efficient limit. I certainly do the same thing with my son when he’s being rude.

I don’t yell.

I certainly don’t call anyone names.

I think that when I was with my ex-GF I became adept at examining my part in conflicts.

With the other conflict that Scorpio and I had, I understood my part. We had to talk about it several times. We landed in a good place too. Reflecting on it, I was mostly at fault there.

I had to accept that she wanted a partner at her friend’s birthday party. Those things are not my jam, and I did it because I love her.

I’m not sure how to talk to someone who yells and calls me names. I think that’s ok for me to talk about directly with subsequent dates. I also think that if I’m with another yeller, I need to state clearly that is fine–I know that you can’t change people–but if she begins yelling, I will ask once if she can gather herself to talk without a raised voice. I will say that if the yelling ramps up again that I don’t think it’s productive. I’ll leave.

When people yell because it involves a lot to get that revved up, I think that they also say things that they don’t completely mean. Scorpio said several things to me on Thursday night that were in anger I am sure. What’s she’s hung onto and now has as a belief is that I’m a liar. That’s not friendship material either.

I think too that given that she’s pretty high every night it’s difficult to tell what is THC and what is her true approach when she’s mad at a partner.

Although it will take me some time, and I may never be fully out of love with her, it’s best that I don’t contact her at all. So, I won’t.