I hope that my group therapy isn’t cancelled tonight. It may be. All government and city entities are closed today. When I got up this morning, I thought it was overblown, but now it’s steadily snowing again. It’s actually beautiful. I’ll shovel some of it shortly.
I want to get a few groceries and pick up my son’s meds. I’m getting his SSRI stockpiled so he can I can taper it when he’s more stable. I’ll go get his stimulant out of the nurse’s office at school so he can take one when he takes the GED practice test and one more when he takes the real thing. Then he’ll have to get another job. I am still upset that he blew one of them, as he could have had two nights and a weekend day going for his coaching, but at least his boss let him keep one gig. The season changes in April, so maybe he can coach three teams, and do some other piece work.
I have still been playing and singing, and doing some with him. He is really good at strumming. I’ve not practiced classical which I took in high school, so hitting alternating notes is pretty difficult for me and I want to sing and chord, but strumming patterns are difficult. He drummed while I played and sang last night and I want to make sure that when he’s not doing a closing shift that we keep doing that when it’s night. So fun for us and he’s a really good drummer. He had toyed with getting a 5-year music degree for awhile and did a university visit. I don’t know what he’ll wind up doing and it could take him some time. I don’t want to chime in anymore. I’m actually relieved that he is dropping out because when your kid doesn’t go to class, it’s incredibly burdensome. Seems pointless.
The climber texted me a couple times yesterday. It will be nice to see her on Friday. I still won’t ask her out though. That’s her ball and not mine.
I’ll text the photographer Happy Birthday tomorrow. I’d be shocked if in the next two months that she texted me to plan a bike ride. I won’t ever touch her again though.
I kiss my best friend every time I see her. I kiss her goodbye too. Most of my other friends are not ones that I hug because they give out that don’t hug me vibe. One thing that I actually loathe is the shitty hug. Do you know what a shitty hug is? You get kinda close and turn your head and then put your arms around the shoulders of the person that you’re “hugging” and pat. I think that I’d rather scrape a plate over and over with a metal fork. Why even try?
This explanation brings me to my friend and my new rules for the Prowl. We’re not sitting with each other anymore, but will rather reconvene. We’ll work the room and talk to women and then touch bases at the bar and not on the couch. I’m going to scan too and talk to women and then settle. For our first two Prowls we sat with each other. We need to rove and talk about it. I sat alone Sunday night at a different bar, and then got hit on by men. Not sure why because I had on a beanie with a rainbow flower stitched on it. When that article of clothing also got complimented by a man who just kept staring at me from his table full of friends, I just took it off completely. Men are certainly emboldened when they are having some drinks.
I’m going to lift weights at home today. I’m going to do bench, some strategic bicep work, and forearms.
I really need to recycle mail too. Ugh. I’m missing a therapy manual too, and don’t have any clue where it is. I paid to have it printed because it’s somewhat scripted and it was better to have it in a binder to use. It cost me a ton to print, and I need to find it. I think that I may have brought it to the class that I taught in February, so I wouldn’t have left it at the University, as I’m good about getting everything into cloth book bags when I tear down the room. It’s definitely not in the building that is my main site because I worked on the file cabinet there yesterday waiting for a contentious meeting. I had my colleagues go through stuff in my other building because we’re all doubled-up now and they didn’t find it, but I want to take a peek too. Can I just tell you how glad that I’ll be when I have my own office again?
I’m starving. I try to wait to eat 12-hours after I ate. My son and I watched two episodes of “Supernatural” after we jammed, and I was eating swiss cheese. Hahahaha. So funny. I’d made a homemade pot pie for dinner, but he and I had some wine that our neighbors made so I was hungry. I have to hold out about half an hour more before I make some pumpkin pancakes so it’s 12-hours apart.
The last thread in my mind is that I’m mad again. I actually almost called my ex-wife this weekend and then mentally talked myself off that ledge. It’s weird to spend 9-years with someone (and married for 8), and then they’re poof. It wouldn’t do any good though. I remember one time that she moved out and sent me the video link to “Mirror” by Justin Timberlake and said that I was the love of her life and we have to try. So, we tried, and tried, and tried, and tried. Chapter is closed, but I wanted to talk to her this weekend. She’s moved out permanently this time and lives two states away. It would be great if she was more stable now that she lives with her Mom. That’s the energy I’ll send.