I’m a health fanatic. I watch my step count. Every week I lift, run an interval for 20-minutes, and do a cardio routine with 90 reps of hip and leg sets. I also eat fruit and vegetables and try not to eat things out of bags. I drink water and coffee and rarely drink.

I have also had only 11 sexual partners which is one of the lowest numbers that I’ve heard of with unmarried people in their 50s.

I like dating a lot. I like connection. My sex drive isn’t as such that I would engage in casual encounters. I don’t need it like I did in my 30s and love connected sex. I had two partners in my 30s who I slightly regret the speed in which we were intimate.

My jobs are trying at intervals during 10-months of the year. I have made a decision that I need to meet with my pension organization in the fall. I need to know if I have 3 or more years left. I’m tired of jugging responsibilities and these often impact my health when I’m overwhelmed. Work life balance can certainly affect all aspects of my life.

That doesn’t mean that I would tell anyone how they should do health, work and sex.

Scorpio and I had a date on Saturday. I drove to her house and brought her to my friend, Brooklyn’s house. We had a good time with her. Scorpio is very social so she likes hanging out with other people too. We had fun, connected sex that night. I took her home so she could get ready for brunch on Sunday late morning.

I didn’t hear from her again until after I’d slept about 3.5-hours.

I had texted her at 7:30 pm that I hoped that brunch was fun and that I had a wonderful 36-hours with her and that I appreciated her. That night I went to bed at 9:30 and sent the “Goodnight” text with the hug and kiss emojis. When I randomly woke up at 1, I think that what I had was a drunk text. And it included information about a threesome.

Then she was in a bad mood via text on Monday and on Tuesday. Her texting was cold. And she has to get an extraction and probably a bone graft on Wednesday, and I’m willing to take her to that appointment and get her back to her house. However, she was in a bad space and barely asking me a single question. Some was related to drinking, which she doesn’t do often. I know that some is related to the way she is impacted by my dating that I’m doing. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up last night. And I was in a hideous mood anyway (work, second date with Portland, wibbles about a threesome, and feeling behind in my giant house and yards).

I eventually asked her for an 8-second hug to see if it would reset my nervous system. It did. In fact, she continued to hold me. Later when I was putting the final touches on dinner I felt my vagus nerve reset. It hadn’t done that in a few weeks. We adjorned to her movie room and office to talk.

She said that she trusted me enough to be around me when I’m in a bad mood because she knew that I would bring it up if it had anything to do with her. I told her that unprotected penetrative sex that could lead to my contracting HPV would be something that would affect my mood. I get that was direct.

However, I didn’t deserve what happened. She cried and sometimes when she does she also yells. That feels like weaponizing tears to me. In fact, she told me that I was 1) controlling, 2) manipulative, 3) a bisexual shamer, 4) monogamous, 5) a repeat of her ex-boyfriend of 3-years, and that I needed to go fuck someone.

Last night marked the 2nd time that I have had to tell her that I don’t want empty sex.

I was so proud that although she was yelling that I said that I had not heard from her in 7-hours and assumed brunch was that: 1-4 hours max. I told her that I sent a text saying that I had a great 36-hours with her and it was met with a threesome text. That was so off the mark. To hear nothing from her and then have something insensitive in response to my text regarding appreciating her made me feel bad.

She told me that 1-4 hours for brunch was an “assumption,” and went back to saying that we don’t have “rules,” and all kinds of other things that make me monogamous. It was so strange. And, I was done being yelled at. I said, “You’re yelling still. I don’t think that I can do this.”

She finally said, “Bye.”

After my former sister-in-law was murdered I began utilizing curriculum that is used mostly with young people (high school and college age) that helps recognize the Signs of Heathy and Unhealthy relationships. I was so glad that a colleague recommended the training to me. It took me weeks to get through it and I use it personally and at work. The curriculum is a family’s sublimation effort as a result of the murder of their daughter whose ex-boyfriend killed right before she graduated from college.

I mention it because no matter what, no one should be yelled at. I mention it too, because having my check-in text met with a flippant threesome text was hurtful and would’ve hurt anyone. Instead of acknowledging my feelings, regardless of how I brought it up, she unloaded on me. That’s not love.

I’m not going camping today or this weekend. I have very little to apologize for–I just don’t have ways to bring things up to her generally. We see each other midweek and spend weekend dates together. Our texting isn’t great, and she doesn’t like to text. She’s also not a phone call person. We’re good in person. We’re not good at conflict.

I think that if she wants to continue to spend time with me that we need to have a friendship.